Not so long ago I got talking to a goth in Croydon’s Alternative scene Black Sheep bar whilst out on a night trawling around town; she introduced herself to me as “an original”. 

At that point I thought I’d do a visual check, black trousers – check, buxom black top – check, celtic silver pendant – check, OTT mascara and black eye liner – check.  Yep, this was Goth Bingo at it’s finest and I had a full house! 

I’d like to stress that I appreciate the alternative scene, muchly in fact, but have never really gotten the whole goth thing.  I remember growing up in the 80’s and thinking The Cure not only looked like a bunch of silly tits but also sounded crap too and for the most part I draw a similar opinion of the “Goff” scene and music which seemingly surrounds the glass half empty brigade. 

I put it to this delightfully confident young lady that by trying to disassociate herself from the norm she had inadvertantly; and perhaps with a delicious splodge of irony (along with a twist of lemon), adopted a uniform look and become arguably as mainstream as the many denizens of Croydon’s other mainstream nightclubs that she openly scoffed at.

Being in a mischevious mood, and also giving that I was bored from the lecture, I began to ponder the irony of the locales name and eventually pointed out that a black sheep was still arguably a sheep and that really the only way to be original was by doing your own thing and let everyone else be damned in the process!?!. 

Anyone can buy the same clothes as this lass from just about any high street shop that sells goth gear (I’m surprised Camden hasn’t given up the ghost now that everywhere sells skull ridden clobber).

She argued the point, obviously, I often find people who have such an obsession about being unique tend to be very defensive and on occasion can be quite dismissive of anything else which doesn’t fall within their own scene.  A shame really as you tend to cut yourself off from so much by doing so?

Perhaps all it took for them to tread in such dark and restricted ways was because they ran a washing machine once with all the colours of the rainbow which then ran and they thought “Damn it, never again, I’ll wear black, black and black and get my labia pierced in protest!”.

So there you have it, I encourage people everywhere to take time out of your daily schedule and approach these disenchanted folk of society, give them a hug, tell them a joke. 

It’s not too late to bring them back from the dark side!