Chesterfield MP Toby Perkins is a prat; he believes England needs its own National sporting anthem and presented his case in the House of Commons as a ten minute rule motion.

Whilst I fully agree that our ‘Englishness’ (offensive) needs to be promoted more, I do not agree with this motion and personally adore booming out ‘God Save The Queen’ at Wembley or anywhere else I’m able to.

Early frontrunners to replace God Save The Queen are:

Jerusalem = William Blake’s beautiful literary masterpiece has been embraced by all the Tarquins and Cuthberts who went to boarding school and pretend to understand Rugby or Cricket.

Land of Hope And Glory = A beautiful musical arrangement, but when you look at the lyrics, it’s a load of Old English language tosh that basically reminds me of all the flag waving twats on Last Night Of The Proms.

I Vow To Thee My Country = Perhaps the only piece on offer that I feel has any lyrical relevance to modern day England.  Best placed in Holst’s Planets suite though methinks.

Quite frankly, I think it’s a travesty that they are even considering dropping God Save The Queen.  It’s a rousing, bold, arrogant and patriot masterpiece of an anthem!

The only thing that comes remotely close is ‘Abide With Me’.  I have also sung this at Wembley stadium whilst attending a couple of F.A. Cup finals; it’s an extremely emotional song which makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck, but I very much doubt the seasonal ale drinking upper class sporting piss heads will be familiar with it!

I sincerely hope that this motion is kicked out when it is eventually heard, rumoured to be sometime in March 2016; I can’t imagine turning up for a game of football and having to endure a chorus of ‘Jerusalem’.

God save, ‘God Save The Queen’.