‘Sex tourist’, is a phrase frequently used in our press (particularly the BBC) at the moment to describe a person who goes abroad (to places like Thailand) with the sole intent of doing dodgy stuff to minors or sleeping with ladyboys. 

My thoughts on this are quite simple.  Why not just use the word ‘nonce’ instead?

I mean, what do you bring back as a souvenir from such tourism apart from STD’s?  How about a “My friend/brother/husband went on holiday looking for illegal poontang and all I got was this lousy t-shirt“, or one of those incredibly cheesy but brilliant snow globes of a man shafting a ‘woman’ with a great lumpy adams apple, that glows in the dark or something.  On second thoughts, does it even snow in Thailand?

You wait, there will be a ITV documentary soon called “Sex Tourism uncovered” which opens to the melody of ‘Summer Holiday’ by Sir Cliff Richard (slowed down to sound sinister) and features some fat bald man called Roger from Norfolk who ventures into Northern Africa each year to bugger Wildbeest. 

I’ve had enough of lefties bringing out phrases that mean fuck all!  What next, ‘Militant safari’ to describe the goings on in Iraq?  How about ‘Resort Hamster’ for the sort of person who goes for the same ‘Costa del Bollocks’ package holiday every year, but doesn’t know why?

I say again, NONCE!