Well, here we go again, grumpy old man time folks……I ask you “What’s more annoying than finding you have a blunt Wilkinson Sword shaver blade and no spare is to be found anywhere?  Not even in your emergency razor stash?”

What’s more annoying?  Being called ‘random’ that’s what!!  For example: ‘Mr Willoughbury and Mr Greenshaw are sharing a tipple over a game of chess.  Suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, Willowbury volunteers a rather witty remark having taken his opponents Queen.’; to which Greenshaw ejaculates “I say old chap, you’re so random!!!!”.

Cunty brickdust.  It’s wrong!  WRONG I SAY!

Until now I reluctantly accepted it was the latest ‘in-word’, just like the ones I enjoyed using to annoy people as a kid.  ‘Wicked’ in the 80’s, ‘Dark’ in the 90’s and now it appears, ‘random’.  Except I don’t like ‘random’, at all.  Yep, you guessed it, it’s a dirty business.

It’s clearly gone beyond being the latest incarnation of the ever-useful ‘cool’ and transformed into a phrase used after every sentence or given opportunity; and frankly, it’s become rather irritating to yours truly (hearing it gives me the kind of sensation you get when somebody drags their nails down a blackboard).

Those who know me well will vouch that I’m rather fond of taboo, slang, local phrases and eccentric colloquialisms, especially if there is some thought behind their meaning or origin, but to simply just keep using a word without it making sense is fucking annoying.

Yes I know I’m a miserable bastard but do the world a favour old chap and buy a thesaurus; thus expanding your vocabulary a bit?