Next door’s tortoise did a wee wee on my PC whilst I wasn’t looking this evening (proper cocked it’s leg up it did the bastad!).

Since this outrage, I can’t Google for shit man. You wait till the cunt’s not looking; I’m going to pop the charlatan in the microwave, recycle his shell for pith helmet spare parts (in case of ZULU attack!) and then put his ballbags on Amazon’s Marketplace.  Paaaahnd of nanas!

As you can see, my googley-eyes is brokener (more broken than broken).