Mirror, signal, oh you fucking hit me you cunt!

Snow is falling, all around me, children playing, having fun……..but just where are the neglectful parents?  Bingo!?!?  Someone should call social services in I think?!?

Listening to “I Feel Free” by ‘Cream’ and watching a bit of frozen rain falling outside is probably a fairly obscure thing to be doing on a Tuesday evening; especially when you consider the infinite possibilities of the Universe and all that Showaddywaddy??

Ah ha, now the ‘Tales of Brave Ulysses’, “How his naked ears were tortured by the sirens sweetly singing”………don’t I fucking know it?   Up and dahhhhhhn the main road they go, neeee nawww neee nawww, flipping old bill!!!  ::: shakes fist :::

Anyway, something very unexpected happened to me this afternoon; I found out that the chap who kindly fractured my ankle with his Skoda (and left me like a flid for Christmas) has admitted liability to his insurers.  Huzzah.  Fat lady fate has indeed smiled upon my confused skin pigmented face; I certainly didn’t see that coming!  I also found out that the George Foreman Grill knockoff that I bought from Sainsbury’s does rather nice sausages; scronch.

Mr Shitface’s admission of liability essentially means that my insurers can get my bike fixed back to it’s ‘new’ condition; the fact that he’s admitted being a naughty fucker means that I can also pursue a personal injury claim against his insurance. Ker-cockadoodle-ching.

Lets face it; the guy pretty much ruined 6 weeks of my life, cramped my style as well as my leg (gotta love a shit but topical cliche) and has potentially left me with a dodgy ankle needing physiotherapy or even an operation.  Why the hell shouldn’t I be compensated for the injuries that he bestowed upon my person; especially given that I paid my dues for the premium?

Touch wood that me bleedin’ ankle don’t give me jip eh?   My promising career in ballet is in tatters; the Bolshoi never saw me mince my trademark ‘Grand Plie’.  Oh the shame.  I imagine it’ll look more like a very bad ‘Dixon of Dock Green’ doing a drunken version of an “Evenin’ all!” curtsey now?!

I jest, I’m chuffed to bits with the insurance stuff and thinking positively about getting on with whatever comes next.  The only slightly unfortunately development this evening is that the freezing rain has turned into snow; and with 10 inches predicted over the next few days, I doubt I’ll make it to the hospital appointment tomorrow that would have shed some light on the true extent of my injuries and recovery period involved.  Bugger.  Still, you can’t have it all can you?  It’ll happen eventually though!

Right, it’s time to depart; I shall leave you all with a rather funny public information video from the 1960’s about safe motorcycling.  Until next time chums!

LOOK, SIGNAL, MANOEUVER

Starring

Alan as Tom
Kev as Tom’s naughty friend
Ray as Tom’s new friend.

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