Amsterdam.   The culture shock that failed to arrive.

There’s more weed and titty bars in Croydon than there are here???

I walked around for two and a half hours last night and came to the following conclusions:

(*)  Dutch people are extremely nice but have a bloody silly language.

(*) There are SO many bikes here,  but the Dutch won fuck all in the Olympics for cycling?

(*)  The narrow houses by the canals are beautiful, but you’d have to be deformed or brought up drinking agent orange to fit in one.   Bugger all chance I’d even get through the front door!

(*) I still don’t like the smell of puff.

(*) The trams are very similar to Croydon, just minus the menacing little spastics who sit playing their shitty grime tunes on a CEX bargain phone.

Amsterdam,  a city with a distinct charm; a bit like Sir Jimmy Saville.