I love in-flight safety cards, they’re a fucking right old hoot!

For example:

What you should do, when you’re a ginger and attacked by a giant octopus, whilst you’re aboard an aeroplane.

When you’re in Business class, you can do whatever you like. Throw a window out of the window! Fuck the police!

In-flight botox is available for trophy wives that are travelling in Premium Economy with their spoilt bastard kids.