Category Archives: Editorials

Dad’s 70th birthday

Christ almighty!  Today would have been my Dad’s 70th birthday!

Ever since he passed away over ten years ago, I have celebrated his birthday each year by doing things that he often enjoyed during a typical week; such as (but not limited to):

* Go to Selsey and have a full English breakfast

* Listen to all his favourite music in the car

* Demolish a big curry with Kingfisher Lager and imagine him sniffing away as the Madras took hold

* Put a few quid on the dogs or horses

* Watch a game of footy if it’s on; If not, watch ‘Finding Eric’, a montage of 80’s and 90’s Man utd footage on youtube or a Laurel and Hardy film

* Randomly beep the car horn at strangers and see if they wave back or growl at them like a bear whilst they go across a zebra crossing to see if they jump out of their skin.

This year however, I’m finding it really hard to comprehend that he would have been 70 years old?  70?!?

Dad was a typical Clint Eastwood or John Wayne archetype, an indomitable spirit who had dynamite and napalm coursing through his veins; so I genuinely can’t imagine him being a little old man!

As today is a Monday and a working day, I will be unable to do a few of the things on the list above; however, come tonight, I will be toasting him with a pint of Indias finest lager!

Miss you Dad, Happy birthday!

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Indian Lego Minifigs – Gunnabo Ikea Frame hack

Ikea Ribba frames are the preferred choice for most Lego minifig display frame ideas; however the new Gunnabo frames are also good for a hack.

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I used panel pins to pop in some strip wood and spray painted the inner frame, just as I did with the Ribba frames.

As you can see, I decided to make a mini feature using Indian Minifigs, you know, because I’m a bit of a Joe.

Do you like my colouring-in background?  😉

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I’m particularly pleased to give my Sikh minifig a beard using a Father Christmas piece left over from my Lego Advent Calendar.

The completed frame goes quite nicely with the Ribba doesn’t it?

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Cinema Seat Chaos – Alphanumeric Tomfuckery

I went to see ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ again last night (third time!  Woohooo!!!) and it was fucking brilliant; however, going to a cinema is often a very angst and infuriating experience for me due to my obsessive compulsive disorders.

Frankly, I find the behaviour of people in cinemas to be largely idiotic and annoying; people applauding films like they’re in the United States (offensive), making ‘whoop whoop’ noises when the cinema certificate pops up (wankers) or having to listen to banal ‘facts’ sourced from Wikipedia is usually enough to make me go into ‘Yosemite Sam’ mode.

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The idiosyncrasy that I find most annoying is watching stupid people bumble about looking for a seat.

You must know the kind of cunt sticks I mean?  The silly pricks who aimlessly walk around using a mobile phone as a pathetic makeshift torch so that they can identify the row letter.

Here’s a clue fuckers!  It’s an alphanumeric system!!!  The front row is always ‘A’, so you consider the alphabet sequence as you walk up through the rows until you find your letter and then walk in to find the seat number.  It’s EASY!

There’s even a fucking plan on the outside of most cinema screens so you can identify your seating location before you go through the door!  But oh no!  It’s the most complicated thing in the word for some imbeciles!??

What is wrong with these people???

I’ve actually been approached by one or two confused seat-hunters who have stared at me point blank, looking accusingly like I’m in the wrong seat before they eventually realise and go off and annoy someone else before eventually finding their place after five or so minutes?!!

Use your fucking eyes and brain, you utter bank of wank!

Such people should only be allowed in the cinema when accompanied by a responsible and clear thinking adult.

Roll the credits.