Andre Arshavin keeps harrassing me whilst I’m out on my lunchbreak; well, a Russian chap giving out International calling card leaflets rather than Arsenal’s cheeky forward; but he looks just like him!!!

It’s a futile exercise these days; trying to tempt me with cheap overseas calling rates, purely because I no longer have a penchant for Yank bints………..shame the cards weren’t around 13 years ago when phoning America twice a day almost cost me a Kidney!

Furthermore, If I want to speak to an Indian relative I just phone Virgin Media after 8pm and it only costs 1p a minute. Why are employees in Indian call centres given ‘English’ names?!?? For our convenience? It’s offensive!!!

So far I’ve spoken to a ‘Peter’, a ‘Rupert’ and even a ‘Robert’ but no ‘Kevin’. Maybe it’s not a popular pseudonym in Mumbai yet???