Tag Archives: antikrishmas

An Alternative Antikrishmas Message – 2012

I would like to begin by wishing my fellow atheists out there a very happy Tuesday, for those of you who are a bit backward mentally, Merry Jesus Christmas.

This Christmas time, we must think of those who are less fortunate than us:  people who wear fake tan, lovers of soap operas, X Factor, Liverpool FC fans and anyone who has actually paid for an album or music track (seriously, who even does that shit anymore???) instead of yoinking it off the net.

Spare a moment also for those working in the porn industry, they literally get fucked over and jizzed on every day of the week, which is FAR worse than the life little Haji leads in his cosy Nike sweatshop in Kolkata.

My thoughts go out to those who would rather use goose fat on their potatoes rather than sunflower oil; Waitrose must rub their greedy little hands when they see you fuckers coming!!!?

Last but not least, our armed forces who are sunning their arses off in the Middle East, reading a copy of Nuts or Zoo whilst keeping the World safe from bad men.  We owe you all a debt that can never be repaid.  I jest, I am grateful to those who serve, especially sluts. 

I hope you all have the best of times with your families and friends, for those of you who have neither, enjoy your TV box sets.

Merry Antikrishmas everyone.

Merry Antikrishmas

Merry Christmas one and all!  Ho ho ho and all that old chestnut.

I write this Christmas Day entry somewhat stuffed and in an empty house; My grandfather has had it away on his toes already and Mum has gone next door for a few tipples with the neighbours.

Today was always going to be a quiet affair with just the three of us here, Boxing Day (26th December for all my American fans out there) will involve my Sister Lorraine and her family coming over for dinner, and then the 27th will be more like the Christmas Day I remember as a kid with my brother Brian bringing his family up and Lorraine’s mob all coming up as well.

I shall enjoy the peace and quiet whilst it lasts……………

Mum made a sterling effort today, her roast dinner was absolutely top notch and thought I’d pop up a picture of her ‘slap in the face to third world poverty’ offering; especially considering that I only get one roast dinner out of her a year these days; I intend to savour the memory of it!

As you can see it’s a rather hefty arrangement of Roast Turkey, Roast Pork, Crackling, Pigs in Blankets (little sausages wrapped in bacon), cauliflour, sprouts, peas, roasted potatoes, stuffing and gravy!   And yes, I ate every single last piece!

I hope everyone out there has had a rather funky day with their family, friends or hookers; I shall leave you all with a picture showing what my face looks like after I’ve eaten such a meal.

Happy Yuletide chums.