Well that’s it then, I didn’t make the Queen’s honours list, again, and there can be no surer way of knowing that the year is coming to an end than having been snubbed by old Lizzie chops for my outstanding contribution to society; save perhaps dozens of people all stuck on the same poxy bit of vinyl asking me what I’m doing for New Years Eve?
What am I doing? Quite simply, bugger all. I have never enjoyed participating in what I believe to be a load of old bollocks, so why do these people (who should know me quite well) keep asking?. You can stuff your 10 second countdown, closeup shots of Big Ben and the hourly update shot of some country that gets to let off it’s fireworks before we do.
I honestly couldn’t give a cats cunt about the whole affair. I’ve never understood the mindset of people who think all their problems will vanish, just because of a digit change on the calendar. “I shall be glad to see the back of 2008”, why? Surely it wasn’t ALL bad? Why are people so inherently negative?
There are citizens of the United Kingdom out and about tonight, paying an entry charge into the very same pubs they probably drink in normally throughout the year, only then to enjoy inflated drink prices before singing ‘Auld Langs Whinge’ .
And that’s the lower end of the spectrum for cost, there are actually some very silly bastards who are actually paying a couple of hundred quid to go up into London for a couple of hours. Can you believe that? Seriously? It’s like people getting on a ferry from Dover to Calais and coming back straight on the same ferry just to buy cheap fags.
I genuinely feel like catching a tube up into town tonight and mooning all the so called revellers. That’s another word I really dislike, reveller.
Definition of ‘reveller’ – “Used to describe a person who goes to the New Years Eve gathering in Trafalgar Square wearing fairtrade combat trousers, a cluster of beads bought from an orphaned child whilst building a well in Borneo and sporting a tiara (even if it’s a guy) bought off of Ebay. Often hypocritically ignorant of the carbon handprints they are leaving behind.”
Self righteous rant aside, I would like to wish everyone a very inspiring 2009. Stay lucky punks!
Kevin Krishnan, OBE (Wan Kenobi).
Picture – Reveller, or a bloody fool.