I participated in a Car Boot Sale yesterday; car boot sales (or car boots as they are known!) are commonplace in the UK and are often held over the warmer months so that people can sell their unwanted junk in order to acquire new junk.

Car boots are a distant cousin of an American ‘Yard Sale’, the main difference being that a car boot requires the participant to get up at a ridiculous time (usually 6am) and park up in a field or car park along with other sellers; a yard sale epitomises the ‘let the mountain come to Mohammad!’attitude of our American cousins.

So, my good friend David and I decided to pitch up a couple of wallpaper paste boards (ideal for a car boot table) and brave the good people of Warlingham in Surrey.

No sooner had I started to unpack, I was accosted by the ‘plant lady’ who had the pitch next to us.  She was clearly a regular and was very aggressive about my table encroaching upon her bit of land.  She was the car boot equivalent of Israel and I was clearly Palestine.

In the end I just moved over a bit, didn’t want to make her have a heart attack and be run out of town by a load of pitch fork wielding nutcases!?

Then a snotty nosed teenager looking for electronics started hanging around for first dibs on my gear.  I didn’t even get a chance to get everything onto the table, he was even looking in my boot!  I inflated my prices to get him to fuck off.  Twat.

There are many types of people who come car booting, these are some of my favourites:

Africans with suitcases who haggle for EVERYTHING
You ask for a £1, they will ask for 10p; the amusing thing is that they drag swollen Samsonite cases around to carry their stuff in.  Clearly not as poor as they make out!  The Africans that I met yesterday should learn some bloody manners I tell you!  Extremely obnoxious people!

Pakistanis who try to haggle AND tell you that you won’t get a better deal
One such Pakistani woman offered me £35 for my spare Xbox and cockily came back at the last moment to get a bargain, only for her to be pipped to the winning post by two pikeys who offered me £60.  She had a face like a smacked arse when I told her that she had missed out.

Old people who just like to chat
I am a magnet for jolly old people, lovely as they are.  Asking me about the weather, whether or not I was enjoying myself.  Ah, bless.

Alternative types
Greasers, the overly-tattoed and Twilight addicts come up to my stall, look at my stuff, look at me, make some kind of judgement and leave.  Why do they always give me a dirty look?  Maybe it was the Dennis Pennis DVD, maybe it was my ‘Blood, Sweat and Tea’ book.  Who knows?  Who cares?  Go and have a fucking wash!

So there you have it, car boot sales are amazing fun as long as you come out making a few quid.  I was £85 ‘up’ so that was all well and good.  My pitch for the day only cost me £5 (About $8)

Here’s a video of Dave in action!  Go on my son!

Here’s a gallery of some ‘interesting’ people.