Monthly Archives: Dec 2008

Goodbye 2008

Well that’s it then, I didn’t make the Queen’s honours list, again, and there can be no surer way of knowing that the year is coming to an end than having been snubbed by old Lizzie chops for my outstanding contribution to society; save perhaps dozens of people all stuck on the same poxy bit of vinyl asking me what I’m doing for New Years Eve?
What am I doing? Quite simply, bugger all. I have never enjoyed participating in what I believe to be a load of old bollocks, so why do these people (who should know me quite well) keep asking?. You can stuff your 10 second countdown, closeup shots of Big Ben and the hourly update shot of some country that gets to let off it’s fireworks before we do.
I honestly couldn’t give a cats cunt about the whole affair. I’ve never understood the mindset of people who think all their problems will vanish, just because of a digit change on the calendar. “I shall be glad to see the back of 2008”, why? Surely it wasn’t ALL bad? Why are people so inherently negative?
There are citizens of the United Kingdom out and about tonight, paying an entry charge into the very same pubs they probably drink in normally throughout the year, only then to enjoy inflated drink prices before singing ‘Auld Langs Whinge’ .
And that’s the lower end of the spectrum for cost, there are actually some very silly bastards who are actually paying a couple of hundred quid to go up into London for a couple of hours. Can you believe that? Seriously? It’s like people getting on a ferry from Dover to Calais and coming back straight on the same ferry just to buy cheap fags.
I genuinely feel like catching a tube up into town tonight and mooning all the so called revellers. That’s another word I really dislike, reveller.
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Definition of ‘reveller’ – “Used to describe a person who goes to the New Years Eve gathering in Trafalgar Square wearing fairtrade combat trousers, a cluster of beads bought from an orphaned child whilst building a well in Borneo and sporting a tiara (even if it’s a guy) bought off of Ebay. Often hypocritically ignorant of the carbon handprints they are leaving behind.”
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Self righteous rant aside, I would like to wish everyone a very inspiring 2009. Stay lucky punks!,

Picture – Reveller, or a bloody fool.



Our 1st Birthday

Today marks the 1st anniversary of our blog, I’d like to commemorate the occasion by popping up a thread to celebrate this most joyous of moments.

Playing music again and having the occasional jam during 2008 has been fantastic and something I truly missed in my old ‘life’. Such simple pleasures should never be taken for granted my friends.

In an effort to record more and step things up a level (to actually record a complete track would by my ultimate aim!) I have been reorganising my home setup and intend to spend more time at the mixing desk instead of the PC; work permitting obviously.

Cheers muchly to all you regular visitors to the site out there who lurk quietly in the background and nag me if I haven’t written anything lately.  I love you all darlings.

Lastly, I’d like to say a big thank you to Alex for updating and hosted the site until it was moved over to a hosted blog this month.  Respec’.

Happy birfinday.

Kev

Antikrishmas – An alternative message

I am sitting here rather stuffed and jolly having just tackled my Christmas roast below. As you can see it’s a rather splendid effort by mummy dearest; or “Brontasaurus and chips” as coined by my grandfather.

Lounging on my sofa it occurred to me that people around the UK are either watching the Queen deliver her Christmas message, or witness Iranian President Mammaries Armoureddinnerjacket squeeze his alternative message out on Channel 4 (amazing what Leftie t.v. will do next in order to bump up it’s viewer figures). Not to be outdone I thought I’d have a go. Ahem.

1). Please, please, please can the hideously outdated Catholic Church get a new Pope, one who doesn’t wish to continue his brief career in the Waffen SS and “help” all gays everywhere. After the gays it’ll be people with clubbed feet and before we know it, hetrosexual unmarried men such as myself living in occasional sin will have holy water thrown at them and tambourines shaked in their faces?

2). I urge all the indigenous homeless people of the UK to take up arms, legs and torsos and reclaim their big issue franchises from the foreign homeless types that have clearly strong-armed them from their rightful place outside Somerfields across the country. It’s a human rights tragedy i’m telling ya, and the United Nations should get involved.

3). Woolworths should close immediately and put people working there out of their misery selling such tat. Vacant shops will be recycled and used as ‘contact centres’ for BNP opportunists. Saves them all hiding on the BBC’s ‘have your say’ messageboards.

4). The phrase ‘credit crunch’ has been considerably overused and is hereby banned from public use with immediate effect. It will be replaced by ‘sensible wallet syndrome’ and monitored by the ‘Socially Korrupt and Independant National Titwank Trust’ , or ‘S.K.I.N.T.T’ for short.

5). The Daily Mail shall also cease to publish it’s poison penned tripe immediately and it’s brainwashed readership shall be reintegrated back into the modern world following a rehabilitation programme involving a non-stop 24 hour reading session of Viz and the Beano. Overuse of words and phrases like ‘draconian’, ‘nanny state’ and ‘work-challenged spooks’ will eventually die out.

I should like to take this opportunity to urge you all to be mindful of your neighbour the next time you receive their post and are tempted to see how badly they are in dept or if they have subscribed to ‘Readers Wives take 10 inch black cocks’.

Additionally, don’t use your VISA wantonly and avoid using your credit cards to buy that flashy car you don’t really ‘need’ unless you have a good enough body to sell in order to pay for your ill gotten gains.

Most important of all stay warm, and don’t tickle any disgruntled grizzly bears.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to wish you all Merry Christmas and a Happy 2009.

Sag aloo.

Resident Evil 5 – Demo

Christmas came early for me this year, I heard a rumour that there was a Resident Evil 5 demo out on the web after it was released in Japan (UK owners will not have access to this demo, as usual PAL gamers get stiffed). I managed to track it down and have a quick go, and am happy to confirm that it was well worth the wait; the Resident Evil series is my absolute favourite and I have been waiting for this game to come out since it was announced months and months and months ago.

The first thing I noticed on the demo was that it was called Resident Evil 5 and not Biohazard 5 (Japanese name), so this must always have been intended as a UK/USA release but they perhaps changed their minds? The xbox 360 is starting to do very well in Japan now, so perhaps that’s why they got the exclusive on this one?

When I eventually got into the game I immediately noticed how familiar the controls are to Resident Evil 4, almost to the point you could be mistaken for thinking it’s an expansion of the previous chapter in the saga. The visuals are amazing, definately the best I’ve seen on the machine to date, crisp clear graphics which look like most of the cut scenes in RE4. The inventory works well, the weapons are acurate and so is the collision detection. Top notch stuff.

I really enjoy how you’re partnered up in this game with a rather foxy looking sprite called Sheva, it reminded me immediately of Resident Evil Zero where your partner follows you around intelligently and backs you up, heals you and kicks major arse. You seem to be able to supply them with pickups and all sorts in a bid to gain a tactical advantage over the enemies. Speaking of the enemies, so much controversy surrounded the fact that you’re shooting black people in this game (the game is set in Haiti apparently), it never ceases to amaze me really how quick the media are to demonise games. Where were the cries of outrage as you happily saunter around shooting white folk in the first 5 games eh, plus all the carnage you bring upon hispanics in Resident Evil 4? Oh well, we’ll gloss over that, the sheer fact is that whilst walking around in a shanty town, you get rushed by a raging hoard of zombie-like beings (who have the same sort of parasite it would appear as the Ganado’s in RE4). What are you gonna do, open up a politically correct dialogue with them and exchange gifts?

In summary, the demo was short and sweet and at the end I could feel my heart racing when trying to escape the hooded axe-wielding tyrant character (the axe is almost as big as the Eifle Tower); sadly you can’t kill him in the demo but rest assured I will be returning to blow the hood (and his head) clean off and finish the job!

This is most definately going to be my game of 2009, and I can’t wait till it comes out. If anyone wants information on how to get this working then leave me an e mail in a comment on this thread; you don’t need a modded machine in order to play it!

Capcom rules!