I find myself in an inherently negative mood this afternoon; and feel sufficiently angry about my ‘cup half empty’ mood to pour my soul out forthwith.
My morning kicked off to the tune of physiotherapy; a steady Bebop in 3/4 time, which upon reflection, was most definitely missing some serious horn factor.
Being pulled about and having various contraptions fitted to ones limbs is an altogether odd experience which you tend to just get on with, even if it involves standing on tip toes in front of a mirror.
What has annoyed me more is that I began the day feeling chuffed because I would be starting my treatment; I very much want to get back to ‘normal’ and rediscover the many simple freedoms that my life is without at the moment. Swimming being one of them.
An odd thing happened when I got back to my desk around lunchtime; our facilities department were searching around trying to find the source of a lingering bad odour somewhere around my department. A smell which can only be described as mutated cat sick.
Floor carpet tiles have been replaced, ceiling tiles lifted, air con vents inspected; so you can imagine my absolute HORROR when I found my cup hidden underneath my shelf which had a vast culture of bacteria in it….
The search party looked at me with the sharpest daggers and the offending ‘chunky monkey’ cup was promptly removed by a very disgruntled colleague.
Everyone around me laughed and I honestly felt like dying as the office environment descended into something akin to a medieval lynch mob who were itching to throw their rotten tomatoes.
In a brief second, I transcended from ‘Office Prankster Public Enemy No1’ to ‘that dirty bastard with the mug’. As someone who takes their personal cleanliness to OCD levels I quickly lost my cool, got uppity with people who took the piss which isn’t really ‘me’ at all.
I feel so embarassed; it’s a moment when you want the ground to open and swallow you up?
Now that I’ve vented a little I feel more of a prat than anything, I GENUINELY do not know how or when the mug found it’s way under the shelf, but I do know that I should have reacted a little generously, especially with it being my fault.
Oh to wind back the clocks.
If I care to be very honest, this day marks the fifth anniversary of my fathers passing, it is something I swore that I shall not observe because I think such things hold someone back.
Compared to that and all the other crap people put up with; well, it just made me feel a silly sod for reacting so immaturely; I eventually reasoned that I’ll just stick two fingers up at it all and get on with it as is normally my custom.
V <———Two fingered salute.