I’ve arrived a little early for my appointment at St Helier hospital today to begin the NHS physiotherapy treatment; gone are the beautiful White halls of private healthcare, hello stinky 1970’s decor.

Of course, the NHS is a ‘luxury’ that most people around the world do not have. My simple answer to that is stop having military coups, refrain from shooting each other and build some hospitals!?!!

My cynical mood isn’t helped by the fact that I have an extremely annoying elderly Asian couple sitting across from me in the waiting room.

The old woman is loudly conversing in her native tongue and ocassionally making strange teeth kissing noises (which sounds like a cricket with piles) to seemingly add emphasis to whatever shit she’s going on about!!!

Her male companion is just staring into space, presumably hoping that he will die soon and escape the monotone nagging. I especially love his hat; he reminds me of Grandad from ‘Only Fools And Horses’.

“Hello Delhi Boy!!!”.

I have now found myself guessing which of them needs physio. It’s rather like the awful involuntary thought which makes you consider what disability someone has in the Paralympics; and why someone with no legs can fairly be matched against a runner with one full leg and a prosthetic?

I genuinely will laugh if I see either of them use the trampoline. One thing I’d REALLY like to do is adjust her scarf, it annoys me profusely.

And I thought I’d escaped such OCD’s…..oh well, he we go more tip toe exercises in front of a mirror!!

P.s. Pic attached of said couple.