I’m just soothing my aching body in a nice hot soak; being shot at for several hours with pellets that reach speeds of 230ft per second can have a fairly detrimental effect on a 32 year olds body!

Airsoft is the name of the game; effectively similar to paintball but using high velocity BB pellets instead of paint; and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I was invited to take part to celebrate Gary’s 30th birthday bash; Gary, whom I know through my good buddy David!

The venue is an old MOD bomb shelter just outside Epsom high street; and the underground bunker is a very claustrophobic setting indeed.

I found myself quite oppressed by the confines of the tunnels which had artificial lighting changes for different game modes. Sometimes there was almost no light at all!

I think I fared rather well for a first timer; especially with the opposing team comprising of enthusiasts that play weekly and turned up armed to the teeth.

Their obsessive enthusiasm was rather amusing, each of the regulars had brought their own guns worth around £1000 each, wearing mercenary style clothing and a seemingly endless suply of ultraviolet glow-in-the-dark pellets. Guess it’s the next natural step after chess club.

In contrast I wore jeans, two t-shirts (as I stupidly thought that’d reduce the pain) and a strangely damp camoflaged jacket; I doubt I’ll be getting a call up by my darky bretheren to fight in Kashmir just yet!

A great time was had by all; and I’d recommend Airsoft to any of you testosterone junkies out there who hide behind an xbox controller all too often.

Oh, and I’ve attached a picture of a nice welt which has appeared just by my right temple after a pellet hit it from about 100 yards away. Yes, it stung like fuck!

Pow pow, owwwwww!