Hocus Pocus, toil and trouble, eye of newt; rough birds who ‘know’ they are witches. Any of this sound familiar?!? Yes, I’m sure it does…

There seems to be a growing trend of young British woman who genuinely believe that they are witches; gifted with arcane powers and all that old crap.

Now I personally wouldn’t mind if they resembled the saucy Hammer Horror 60’s and 70’s foxy ladies; but the harsh reality is that the modern day witch in the United Kingdom is a deluded piss artist who wouldn’t look out of place in a dodgy German scat porno!

As you may have guessed, I’m a cynic; I lived in Tolkein’s realm as a kid and happily played Advanced Dungeons and Dragon’s until the early hours; but I am more likely to believe that Prince Charles has a moist vagina than to believe any of these bints have magic powers.

I can honestly say the same for psychic mediums; why visit a bored divorcee con artist when you can pay me £30 to roll my eyes back into their sockets, shout “spirits come forth!!” and spout a load of convenient facts that I found out about the person on Facebook or via Google?!?

Better still, download a ‘magic 8 ball’ application on your mobile phone for 99p; then you’ll be a true mage!!! Roll the D20!!! Critical hit!!!

Yours sincerely

Miss Claire Voyant
Head fucker
There’s One born every day Society