My local Waitrose supermarket operates one of the incredibly annoying charity coin voting systems; you probably all know the things I mean?  

After completing your purchases, you’re presented with a green coin token which you have to place in one of three slot boxes (fnar fnar!) according to the charity that you wish. 

Presumably this is to distract posh people from realising that they are paying 30% more for the same stuff than they have in Asda?

The charity that has the most chips after a month will receive…. something….an unconfirmed donation of some kind.

Personally, I just pop my token into a random slot on my way out of the shop; I have a very nonchalant approach to this because I’m sure that they are all worthy causes!?   How is one charity more worthy than another?

This brings me on nicely to the guts of my rant……. why do people spend an age comparing the charities on a very superficial level?

There’s ALWAYS a confused hippy twat standing by one of the boxes when I’m on my way out of the store, usually attempting to evaluate who gets to receive their powerful token of charity…..

Who is more deserving:

A)   The Croydon Shelter for abandoned midgets.

B)   Windowlickers anonymous.

C)   Voluntary fallopian tube tying for minor celebrities.

I just want to grab the token off of said individuals, pop it in my mouth and swallow it! 

I think the whole thing reflects the modern age?   Where some people genuinely believe that they are all powerful intellectuals who can change the fortunes of the not so fortunate!  With a fucking plastic token!

Perhaps next time, the bleeding heart gang could stop wasting 15 minutes of charity X-Factor and go and check on their local elderly or Disabled neighbours instead??

Choose or die!