Tag Archives: Waitrose

Mulligatawny Curry

I am rather chuffed!  

After much consideration, I decided to pour a mulligatawny soup (found in Waitrose, by Duchy Originals) over some Veetee basmati microwave rice!

EUREKA!!!   Healthy lunchtime curry, ready in 3 minutes should you have a microwave.  Pukka.

I had the soup a couple of weeks ago and pondered at the time that the soup was of a nice thick consistency.   It’s almost like daal and rice?

Very, very, very nice!   Could do with some chillies though 😉


Charity coin voting

My local Waitrose supermarket operates one of the incredibly annoying charity coin voting systems; you probably all know the things I mean?  

After completing your purchases, you’re presented with a green coin token which you have to place in one of three slot boxes (fnar fnar!) according to the charity that you wish. 

Presumably this is to distract posh people from realising that they are paying 30% more for the same stuff than they have in Asda?

The charity that has the most chips after a month will receive…. something….an unconfirmed donation of some kind.

Personally, I just pop my token into a random slot on my way out of the shop; I have a very nonchalant approach to this because I’m sure that they are all worthy causes!?   How is one charity more worthy than another?

This brings me on nicely to the guts of my rant……. why do people spend an age comparing the charities on a very superficial level?

There’s ALWAYS a confused hippy twat standing by one of the boxes when I’m on my way out of the store, usually attempting to evaluate who gets to receive their powerful token of charity…..

Who is more deserving:

A)   The Croydon Shelter for abandoned midgets.

B)   Windowlickers anonymous.

C)   Voluntary fallopian tube tying for minor celebrities.

I just want to grab the token off of said individuals, pop it in my mouth and swallow it! 

I think the whole thing reflects the modern age?   Where some people genuinely believe that they are all powerful intellectuals who can change the fortunes of the not so fortunate!  With a fucking plastic token!

Perhaps next time, the bleeding heart gang could stop wasting 15 minutes of charity X-Factor and go and check on their local elderly or Disabled neighbours instead??

Choose or die!


Chicken Gordon Blimey!

Here’s my idea of a low cost and tasty working lunch which can be sourced from all good High streets (even Croydon); perfect for when you can’t be arsed to cook in the evening!

4 spicy chicken wings from the rotisserie in Waitrose for £1.25.
A portion of McDonald’s fries 99p.
Reduced cheesy coleslaw from waitrose, £1.49.


In fact, the chicken is THAT good, I bought 8 wings instead of 4!  What??   I’m a growing lad!

All in all, less than a sandwich and a coffee from Pret-entious A Manger.

Shortbread Easter Penis

I personally think the story of Jesus’s resurrection over Easter is the original cock and bull story; Sam Kinison parodied the whole thing perfectly with his ‘Zombie Christ’ skit, so I will refrain from adding my own jokes on this one!

It is also a tradition to bake foodstuffs over Easter; quite what that has to do with coming back from the dead I don’t know??  

Saying that, I’ve been rescued from a hangover ‘death’ by a full English breakfast before when I’ve been half baked.  Maybe that’s where it comes from?

I loved baking as a kid,  so I thought I’d indulge in a spot over the weekend; Waitrose do a fun ‘ready dough’ range in their baking section,  so I grabbed the ‘shortbread biscuit starfish’ set for £2. 

Yes, I know it’s cheating,  but bite me?

After making a dozen or so starfish,  I decided to make an Easter Penis using the leftover dough and icing.  

Here’s the result!   I’m sure you’ll all agree that I was inspired with the chocolate flake bits for pubic hair and icing jizz?