Our ‘Christmas’ party is schedule for late November this year (WHY NOVEMBER!?!) and my friend Jane has popped over a link for the venue (Muchos Kudos Jane); thought I’d post it for all and sundry to view because I’m quite excited to wear my DJ again and pretend to be 007.

So here we go, Royal Hospital Gardens – Chelsea.

MENU 

STARTER

Passion fruit cured Scottish salmon with ratte potato salad, herb salad & passion fruit dressing *** 
(Ratte….surely they don’t actually mean rat????!?!  Philistines!!!!) 

Caponata and mozzarella salad with seared rustic mediterranean vegetables, torn basil and rocket leaves (v) 
(‘Torn basil’, as opposed to ‘ripped up and owned like a biatch Basil’  So there we go, a few leaves and a bit of cheese for veggies again as usual then)

MAIN COURSE

Roasted breast of Barbary duck with an apple and pea mash, buttered bok choy & a five spice scented jus*** 
(Burberry duck for the chavs – Freshly shot with a blunderbuss whilst happily swimming around Waddon Ponds)

Jerusalem artichoke and mushroom pithiviers on savoy cabbage and crème fraiche with a celeriac Dauphinoise and a cèpe jus (v) 
(Vegetarians have been totally stiffed YET AGAIN by the looks of it.  What appears to be a fancy looking meal on paper will clearly have absolutely no stomach filling potential whatsoever when it turns up on the night, trust me.  Plus, why the hell can’t they use the word juice rather than jus?   Funnily enough though, my uncle was a celeriac, thankfully he made a full recovery)

DESSERT

Rich chocolate truffle cake with a mulled wine syrup and a compote of winter berries 
(Finally something appealing!!!  I’ll have six of these fuckers please garcon!)

 
KK MENU EVALUATION = 99.9999% chance of Kev having a kebab roll or three down the spice cafe instead.