I am sad to report that Sid (the local homeless bloke) has had a spot of misfortune today!

I was reliably informed during my lunch break that there was a fire near my office. Bored and curious, I popped over to the window to have a mooch.

The foliage next to Sid’s gaff was alight! By Jove!!!

I briefly pondered whether or not there was going to be a divine exodus out of Croydon due to the burning bush, alas, it was not a sign from God but was probably caused by an exploding pigeon. Have at you Satan!!!

The source of the fire will undoubtedly be a mystery until the end of time. The usual right-wing types appeared to be quite pleased that a homeless immigrants shelter was ablaze.

I couldn’t help but feel sympathy for Sid whilst the firemen (no women were present so I don’t have to say Fire person) broke the hosepipe ban and drenched the West Wing of his shack, presumably along with his belongings.

Sid is off the scene at the moment and is most likely unaware of the disaster. My thoughts and prayers go out to him.

No doubt the left-wing types will have poncy wristbands made to wear at a ‘Save Sid from Kony’ fun run! Time and venue to be confirmed next week.

It is something of an irony that a fire broke out in between the offices of two major insurance companies?!?

Right, must go and put my magnifying glass on Ebay!