Category Archives: Food

Kev on Channel 4 – ‘Big Chef Takes On Little Chef’

Yes, the rumours are true. It was I on Channel 4 tonight, eating the monster ‘olympian’ fry-up breakfast for all to see!!!!

As some of you may know, I was away on business before Christmas visiting a dealership in Cornwall with my boss Alan; what you didn’t know was that we pulled into a ‘Little Chef’ in Popham for some breakfast. Great idea Alan.  Cheers!  I was fully aware of the video cameras when I walked in, being naive I thought perhaps they were filming some kind of franchise training material; I was wrong.

Instead, Channel 4 were filming ‘Big Chef Takes On Little Chef’, a primetime documentary nonetheless.

Thanks to all those who text and sent messages to say I was on, alas I didn’t see it,   Hopefully I can throw it up on the web if I find footage; then all of you can see me devour a breakfast which is essentially the culinary equivalent of a royal slap in the face to starving people in Africa.

The moral of this story is thus, if you walk into a restaurant with film cameras in it, read the teeny, tiny, poxy smeggy little disclaimer before you sit down and look like a total bloater.

As for the breakfast, it was bloody lovely.  Especially as it was on expenses.  No way I’d have paid a tenner for a breakfast……

Kev’s Low-fat prawn soup/casserole effort

In a bid to shed some weight before my works Christmas party (and generally because I’ve been rather greedy of late) I’ve decided to revisit my self-fashioned ‘low saturated fat’ diet. It’s simple, eat what you like as long as there’s no saturated fat. Oh, and drink lots of water. Sod fad diets, no blocking out food groups for temporary fixes. Dodgy stuff that. Mini-rant over.

I popped into my local supermarket tonight before going home in order to grab some chicken (grilled chicken with peppers and tomatoes is a favourite of mine when I diet) for dinner. The chicken looked a bit ropey/pricey and I decided to browse the seafood section for some inspiration when I saw some tiger prawns which were half price so decided to give them a whirl. When I got back home I decided upon a soup/casserole.


INGREDIENTS:

  • A pack of tiger prawns
  • Button mushrooms
  • Spring onions
  • A single green pepper
  • Plum tomatos in tomato sauce (tinned)
  • Fresh garlic
  • Extra virgin olive oil
  • Sea salt
  • A packet of wholemeal pitta

HOW TO MAKE IT
Use a decent pyrex dish (one with a lid is best), pour in a little olive oil and place into the oven without the lid on at around 93oC (200oF approx). When the oil is heated through, chuck in the prawns (including the prawny water stuff) along with two crushed cloves of garlic, some of the tomato sauce from the tin and a generous pinch of sea salt. Mix it around well and put the lid on for about 3-4 minutes.

While the prawns begin cooking, clean and chop up the mushrooms, spring onions and pepper; when you’ve done this, pop everything in with the cooking prawns along with the tinned tomatoes and remaining sauce. Replace the lid and shove it back in the oven for 10-15 mins (I like all my veg hard, so leave longer if you want yours softer). Just before the soup/casserole (sasserole?) is ready, heat a few of the wholemeal pitta bread under the grill. They make great dipping bread.

And that’s it 🙂 Apologies for the quality of the picture but I only had my mobile phone camera to hand! All in, the meal cost me less than a lady (£5). Bargain.

prawnsoup

Birthday Pizza………finally!

First of all, muchos apologies to Josie for the delay in posting these pictures!

I’ve been meaning to pop a couple of pictures of my birthday luncheon up on the site so that you can all salivate over the culinary delights I was presented with back in October (Muchos respect to Head Chef Alex and Sioux Chef Josie!). Both Al and Josie made the pizzas (and the best chips, sadly not pictured) from scratch, right in front of me I might add which was bloody torture. Thankfully, a Corona lager with lime made the wait that much more enjoyable.  Chin chin!

With no sign of the credit crunch or starving African children, the dynamic duo assembled what would be their masterpiece(s). A variety of different rolls and pitta bread were used for bases; add some homemade pizza sauce and sumptuous toppings and wang………..et voila! It’s also the first time I’ve ever had Mackerel (on pizza or anything else) and it was gorgeous along with the prawns, tuna and mixture of cheeses. I’m genuinely salivating again. Blimey.

So here we go, this is a picture of yours truly and Monsieur la calvacie. Josie seems to have captured the point perfectly after we’d scoffed the first round of pizzas, and were just tucking into the second round which included some dried chillis that burnt the tip of my tongue quite considerably!.  They were definately the best pizzas I’ve ever tasted, and I’m not just saying that!  I am only sad that there aren’t pictures of Josies chips, rum drinking shenanigans or video footage playing Guitar Hero dancing.  Twas the perfick birfinday and make no mistake guvna.  Fanks!

Chicken…….

Is it just me, or does chicken become far more appealing aesthetically when grilled if you cut ‘gill’ style knife slits into it beforehand?

Pork Tenderloin

Pork tenderloin from Bank Holiday Monday’s BBQ.

This is my latest flamed grilled creation and I took a lot of inspiration from Mr Fred Marco (Kansas City BBQ supremo) with regards to the tenderloin.  Fred served one at his place with a beautiful tangerine glaze and I have to say I’ve been dying to give it a whirl since; although I fancied giving it a bit of an English twist and that’s precisely what i did.  I couldn’t get over how inexpensive this cut of meat was.  I shall definitely be buying it again because it’s amazing value for money (considering you’re lucky if you can get a poxy pair of chops for that price now; this is quite literally all meat).

Basically I purchased a Pork Tenderloin from Sainsbury’s (£3.99 I kid you not!) and washed it down as I always do with a little water, then put two caps of olive oil into a pyrex dish and rolled the tenderloin around to get a nice even coating of oil on it.  Afterwards I took some of the sage and onion from the stuffing mix (I didn’t have any fresh her to use but don’t worry, that’s next) and rubbed that all over the surface.  Lastly, I just rubbed a little rock salt over the meat along with some fresh cracked black pepper, skewered the mother and away we go!!!!.

I wasn’t sure how the meat was going to cook, so I decided to whack it on the grill itself, just turning regularly.  It soon started to brown off and the fat dripping down created some lovely searing flames to seal it.   I eventually cut some slits into the meat itself to get a little even heat into the whole thing, I was worried by doing so that it’d dry the meat out but I was pleasantly surprised.  Inside everything was really cooked through well and I hadn’t gotten that really horrible dry pork texture.  Eurrgh.

I honestly haven’t a scooby (Scooby Doo = clue) how long I had it on the grill for, purely as I dangling on various meats, but when you get the following texture and no pink on the inside (not good) then it’s ready to go.  As you can see in the pic I eventually used the skewers to almost spit finish it at the back so that I had extra space on the grill as wel.  I could not believe how tender and succulent this meat was, even with the slightly crispy outside.  I just want to cook another one, it was a lot of fun to throw on I have to say!

GALLERY – Click for a larger image

BBQ – Take two

I’m about to go and BBQ in a bit.  This afternoon I will be serving:

  • Tandoori style chicken (with all my ingredients this time).
  • Panceta and parmesan filled pork sausages
  • Prime piece of sirloin steak
  • Pork tenderloin (which I’ve brushed with olive oil and rubbed sage, onion, black pepper and a little salt over). 
  • Pilau rice, coleslaw and all the usual side nibbles.

Might post pictures later if I don’t burn it all!

 

Mad dogs and Anglo-Indians out in the midday gloom

Last night on the way home from work I popped into Sainsburys to buy some groceries.  Having walked down the aisle I noticed that the BBQ charcoal was on offer and thought it’d be a good idea to throw some chicken on the grill today.  I love to make up my own tandoori chicken style marinade and grabbed the very basic ingredients (minus butter as I wanted it to be low fat) along with some peppers and veg to grill.

Normally my tandoori marinade consists of:

  • 1 pot of low fat greek (or normal) yoghurt
  • 2-3 tablespoons of garlic and ginger paste
  • 1 tablespoon of fresh ground chillis
  • 1/4 cup of melted butter (or ghee)
  • 2-3 tablespoons of tandoori powder
  • 1 tablespoon of garam masala
  • 1 tablespoon of olive oil
  • A little pepper
  • The juice from 3-4 lemons
  • A splash of tap water to the mix to make things a little more watery than creamy to soak the chicken thoroughly.

So as you can see below, this is the kind of mixture I go for.  There is a definate ‘gloop’ factor to the mix and if you finger off the sauce you’ll see that the chicken is well soaked.  Dip it back in after though because you want a bit of sauce when grilling.  I tend to use much bigger fillets of chicken normally, and cut gill slits into it before marinading so that it really soaks in.

The weather today was really, really grim.  A far cry from yesterday apparently when it was beautiful and I was in the office.  Still, I won’t be beaten by the British weather.  I sat by my window and after the first downpour I noticed the clouds were moving fast so I ran down, threw on the bag of self-lighting charcoal (you need to use a match so that’s a lie!) and off we go!

So here we are, the coals are hot and the food is cooking.  This is my slightly pensive face as I can see the skies are beginning to change again with rain clouds (very heavy) starting to build up.  April has always been called ‘April showers’ in the UK, and last year it was our warmest month (practically summer) so it was perhaps an irony that the British weather decided to go back to normal today when I wanted my food.

This is the very teasing and tempting view I had when cooking.  It taunted me the whole time and I decided to share it with you all.  See how the big piece on the left calls to you and says “EAT ME!!!!”?  I only got a small bag of charcoal so it took slightly longer than normal too.  All the while the precipitation gradually increased almost in time with the chicken.  In the distance, I could hear thunder.  Yay!

The chicken had literally about 2 mins left to cook and the rain started coming down, very gently at first but enough to make me get out the brolly.  The cooking finished and I ran into the house rather smug that I had beaten the British weather system once more.  As you can see I decided to wear my lucky clover t-shirt that I picked up in America during St Patricks day.  Worth every penny, to be sure to be sure!

Et voila!!!  Chicken a la Antikrish (slightly more cooked than I would have liked but had to run and get a brolly!) with chargrilled veg and low fat tortillas from Sainsburys.  Alex will be the first to tell you that you can make it a lot more authentic and from scratch, but if you wake up at 9am, think “hmmm I want some funky chicken” then all you do is throw that lot in a bowl and let the chicken marinade in it for a minimum of two hours.  And whilst I’d definately say the authentic tastes way better (Al’x mushroom curry is to die for) this still isn’t too bad.

Pukka!

GALLERY – Click below for larger images

Biscuits ‘n Gravy!

Thought it was about time I put some pictures on here from my recent trip to the States, I started eating healthily today AND I needed to put a new category on here for food and cuisine (Alex is quite the chef); So it occurred to me that I should celebrate quite possibly my favourite American dish by putting a quick thread on it, thus giving a nostalgic nod to the delicious dishes that have made me go a bit stocky of late.

My favourite American dish has got to be biscuits and gravy, it’s a breakfast effort which s far more appetising than it looks (at least to the average person, the very sight makes my mouth water!).  It’s a fairly rustic and honest dish, it’s pretty much the equivalent of the full English that my Dad would often knock up on a Sunday or drag me down the cafe before going to see a game of footy.  Speaking of which, I made it for my Dad once and it was one of the few dishes he really liked; always a critic father’s aren’t they?

The biscuits aren’t really biscuits (all you non-Americans out there stop pulling faces), they are in fact very flakey tasty butter rolls that you use to tear off and eat the sausage gravy with.

I do make it for myself, especially now that I get supplies sent in the mail, but there’s really nothing quite like going out to a store, getting the stuff and sitting salivating whilst Amy breaks out the grub.  And what fantastic grub it is!

How to make biscuits and gravy:

First off, get a decent make of sausagemeat, my preferred brand is Jimmy Dean, the ‘hot’ is nice as it’s slightly warming with the peppers in it, the extra hot is amazing!  At home we’re spoiled for choice (especially if like me you have access to a Farmers market once a fortnight) and I have used Cumberland sausage which goes nicely!

Next up you need to get some biscuits, now you can either make them from scratch (Amy can, I’ve never had the patience to wait), buy a tube of ready-to-go Pillsbury Doughboy Biscuit Dough from a grocery store or you can get a Bisquick mix and make that up (what I usually do). For the sake of prosperity (and the sake of my stomach) we grabbed some ready made throw-in-the-oven dough (Pillsbury). Stick the oven on, stick the dough on a tray and oh Mamma!

Get the sausagemeat, put it all in a hot pan (no oil, there’s enough in the sausage fat!) and break it up into pea sized amounts using a wooden spoon, stir it round until cooked through and then reduce the heat.  I’m going to start adding chilli peppers to mine when I make it again!  that obviously might be quite some time yet thought.  Here’s hoping they invent very cheap liposuction on the NHS.  Oh wait, they have?!

Check on the biscuits as they’re made with butter and are likely to burn if you don’t! Nothing worse than burnt biscuits (fnar fnar) which can be used as a frisby or a North Korean conscripts helmet.  Although obviously if they got shot in the head wearing one then it’s not going to save their life.  That’d be stupid.  Well, it might with a pellet gun?

With the sausage cooking slowly and the biscuits doing their thing it’s time to get the gravy ready. Again, I love Jimmy Dean country gravy mix, Amy adds a little ranch seasoning into it to give it a little flavour. Again she can make it from scratch but I’m impatient and you don’t want to mess with the Anti-Hulk when he’s hungry trust me. With the Jimmy Dean you add milk to the mixture and stir until you get a nice thick consistency (use more milk if you like it creamy, hyuk hyuk).

Right, time to get shakin’. Get the sausage and stick it in the gravy, mix it up good momma. Mix it up good, oh yeah!  This is my favourite part, when you mix up the sausage I get something of an obscure satisfaction watching it all come together. “Here come old flattop, he come grooving up slowly, he got biscuits n gravy, he got festered up arteries”.

So, get the rolls out, stick em on a plate, traditionally you either pour the mix over the biscuits or you can have them on the side. I prefer the latter. And that’s it. A taste of Midwestern goodness!

“GALLERY – Click an image for a larger size.

Spice Cafe & Ken Livingston

Hyeeeeeeeeeeeeeyeeeee!  Hey rat fans!

I plan on getting back to my healthier eating this coming Monday, so, in order to bid farewell to my more debauched culinary habits I thought I’d have lunch down the Indian buffet today as something of a fatboys swansong.  Go out with a Bang(la) so to speak.

The restaurant in question is located about halfway down Surrey Street Market in Croydon, Surrey (UK), Alex first dragged me there in my teens one lunchtime from Boots and I’ve kept up the tradition by going down there on and off over the years (I have survived many changes in ownership).  In fact, I was unaware it had reopened as it’s been closed for a year and just came under new ownership; I only found out when Alan had popped down there last week.

Spice Express (commonly known as Spice Cafe amongst a few of my Indian friends at work) is very funky, £4.99 all you can eat, I’d heartily recommend this latest incarnation (especially the lamb curry, sadly wasn’t particularly hot but the quality of meat and flavour was great).  Very, very clean, fantastic staff, practically open kitchen, perfect.

When the 6 of us entered (My Guv’nor Alan, Doug, Dan, Leonie and Sam) we were greeted by a rather bizarre sight……….current Mayor of London Ken Livingston was schmoozing it up with Croydon counsellors for a PR stunt!.

It was absolutely packed, not by consumers, but his trendy lefty politically correct ‘HR ticksheet’ entourage (Or ethnic bingo as I like to call it…..”Have we got a Chinese woman?  Right, tick her off, Black man?  Tick him off, Big tall white guy standing at the back looking at the curry dishes wearing glasses, no, no, not ethnic enough, he’s clearly about as Indian as I am” !!!guffaw guffaw!!!) were all extremely animated and looked to vie for a photo opportunity themselves with Dobby the House Elf, right in front of the bloody buffet!!!.  We tried to manoeuver past them but it was tight let me tell you, the brown-nosers just wouldn’t move!

I think they must have heard my stomach growl as they shifted to reveal the hotplates of destiny; and it was well worth the wait.  Still, no sooner had Ken left the establishment the heavens opened up and I suspect he got rather drenched considering it was hail/heavy rain.  Karma is a lady and she sleeps in my bed 🙂

General point of advice to anyone, don’t get in my way when I’m hungry; I’m a divine agent of curry and I’ll stab you up with my poppadom of deceit!

P.s.  I’d vote for Boris Johnson, sorry Ken.