Author Archives: Antikrish

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About Antikrish

For answers to all the questions you didn't know you had! www.antikrish.com

Kev vegan veg curry mk2 potatoes and chickpeas

It’s turning bloody cold; so I decided to have another go at making the veg vegan curry!

For the general list of ingredients, see this previous blog entry here:

I used a tin of chopped tomatoes and popped some squished up organic tomatoes into puree to give it a different base; I also left the onion chunkier than last time, didn’t use a blender at all!

There was also no spinach left in the fridge, so I threw in a load of new boiled potatoes along with some beans and a bit of lime juice. 

I’m definitely much happier with this version of the curry; the absorbing nature of chickpeas definitely makes for a better consistency!!!

Oh, and I also have a Tefal ‘Madras’ curry pan which is very cool!  Bit better than the wok, sure you’ll agree!

Bud bud bud.

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Cinema Seat Chaos – Alphanumeric Tomfuckery

I went to see ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ again last night (third time!  Woohooo!!!) and it was fucking brilliant; however, going to a cinema is often a very angst and infuriating experience for me due to my obsessive compulsive disorders.

Frankly, I find the behaviour of people in cinemas to be largely idiotic and annoying; people applauding films like they’re in the United States (offensive), making ‘whoop whoop’ noises when the cinema certificate pops up (wankers) or having to listen to banal ‘facts’ sourced from Wikipedia is usually enough to make me go into ‘Yosemite Sam’ mode.

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The idiosyncrasy that I find most annoying is watching stupid people bumble about looking for a seat.

You must know the kind of cunt sticks I mean?  The silly pricks who aimlessly walk around using a mobile phone as a pathetic makeshift torch so that they can identify the row letter.

Here’s a clue fuckers!  It’s an alphanumeric system!!!  The front row is always ‘A’, so you consider the alphabet sequence as you walk up through the rows until you find your letter and then walk in to find the seat number.  It’s EASY!

There’s even a fucking plan on the outside of most cinema screens so you can identify your seating location before you go through the door!  But oh no!  It’s the most complicated thing in the word for some imbeciles!??

What is wrong with these people???

I’ve actually been approached by one or two confused seat-hunters who have stared at me point blank, looking accusingly like I’m in the wrong seat before they eventually realise and go off and annoy someone else before eventually finding their place after five or so minutes?!!

Use your fucking eyes and brain, you utter bank of wank!

Such people should only be allowed in the cinema when accompanied by a responsible and clear thinking adult.

Roll the credits.

Kev’s totally Vegan Vegetarian chickpea, brocolli and spinach curry

I decided to take up the challenge of ‘Veganuary’ and have adopted a totally vegan diet for the entirety of January; so far, I’m happy to say, it’s been a fucking piece of piss.

With this curry, you can probably add just about any veg that you want; next time, I’m going to add some boiled potatoes and a little more chilli!

As you can see, I cooked it in a wok (it’s not just for Chinese food you know!) and the curry was a little more liquid based than I would have preferred, which I put down to the reduced amount of chickpeas.

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Once it’s drained off (as per the tupperware box picture), it’s fantastic to keep for lunches.

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Very healthy, doesn’t half make you fart though!

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INGREDIENTS

1 onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, chopped
3cm ginger, grated
6 ripe tomatoes
200g of tinned chopped tomatoes
1/2 tbsp oil
1 tsp ground cumin
2 tsp ground coriander
1 tsp turmeric
Pinch of chilli flakes
1 tsp of yeast extract (Marmite)
4 tbsp lentils
6 tbsp coconut cream
1 head of broccoli, broken into small florets
400g Chickpeas, drained
200g of Butter beans or similar
100g baby spinach leaves
1 lemon, halved
1 tbsp toasted sesame seeds
1 tbsp chopped cashew nuts

METHOD

  • Put the onion, garlic, ginger and tomatoes in a food processor or blender and whiz to a purée.
  • Heat oil in a large pan. Add the spices, fry for a few secs and add purée and yeast extract.
  • Bubble together for 2 mins, then add lentils and coconut cream.
  • Cook until lentils are tender, then add the broccoli and cook for 4 mins.
  • Stir in chickpeas and spinach, squeeze over lemon and swirl through sesame and cashew mixture.
  • Serve with rice and toasted pitta bread, if you are so inclined!

 

Multiples!

“Can’t believe you’re going to see Star wars again!”.  Said by practically every woman I know lately and most of them have all seen Pretty Woman, Dirty Dancing and Bridget Jones more times than they’ve had periods!

Yufa – Whitehorse Road

I used to love going to Yufa in Whitehorse Road, Croydon; located just around the corner from Limes Road studios, Kebabs and Pizza were often scoffed here in between music sessions and Anglo-Indian shenanigans.

From memory, it was originally located a bit further up the road, but they were so reliant on our business that they moved 20 or so shops closer to Alex’s place.

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Mmmmmmmm, Yufa(kincunt).

Adieu Limes Road Studios

The Beatles had ‘Abbey Road’, Lynyrd Skynyrd had ‘Muscle Shoals’, ‘Cook’ (Antikrish music) had Limes Road studios in Croydon.

I enjoyed the most creative period of my life at 31A Limes Road because it was where we bashed out all of our nonsensical lyrics and cacophonic jams; such masterpieces as ‘Plastic Leg Blues’, ‘I Don’t Want No Messy Sex With You Momma’ and ‘You Stink!’ were all conceived, splanged and recorded here in Alex’s personal studio during the Nineties and Noughties.

Alex’s upstairs flat was something of a second home to me, so I was rather sad to see it go.  It’s an odd notion to have, being denied access to a property you have an attachment to and also knowing that you’ll likely never see the interior of it again?

Perhaps that’s laying it on a bit too thick, but you all should know how nostalgic I can be?

So, I decided to go for a walk and take a few last pictures of the place before some fucker paints it with salmon pink emulsion.

Yes, I’m a secret Victorian property stalker.

All things must pass.  Innit.

Brian (Basil) Bunker – A Tribute.

I am really sad to learn that my former teacher and form tutor, Brian Bunker,  passed away earlier this year.

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At Carshalton High School For Boys, Mr. Bunker was notorious for his great eccentricity and had multiple idiosyncrasies that made him simply unforgettable; to most boys at school, he was ‘Basil Bunker The Biscuit Cruncher’ due to his almost hollistic dependancy on Lincoln biscuits and his belief that they helped his dodgy stomach.  He often poked and proded his stomach when he was talking to you.

To me, Mr. Bunker was the last bastion of school teachers who believed in strict discipline and commanded respect whilst in the classroom; indeed, he was like a living relic from a different age of schooling, the old schoolmasters who believed in caning unruly oiks and grabbing rude pupils by the scruff of the neck. 

Basil Bunker, as he preferred to be known, mainly taught English and History, but often gave us random lessons in Latin; even though I went to a scabby old secondary modern school and Latin wasn’t on the curriculum.

He was one of the only people I ever willingly addressed as Sir and I absolutely idolised him because he would spend so much time mentoring me with my studies and I eventually came to consider him a good friend and confident; I will never forget how much he lectured me in Wallington High Street one afternoon when I bumped into him, he was disgusted that I’d pursued a Business Studies degree rather than English Literature. 

Given the existence of my blog and my love of writing, I have come to the conclusion that he was right and my decision to ignore his recommendation of doing an English degree remains one of the few regrets that I have in life.

That said, it’s never too late!   Maybe I’ll do him proud one day!?!

I shall remember him for many reasons (how I cursed him during cross country!), but most of all for being the man who inspired me more than any other during my academic years. 

Rest In Peace Sir.