Next door’s tortoise did a wee wee on my PC whilst I wasn’t looking this evening (proper cocked it’s leg up it did the bastad!).
Since this outrage, I can’t Google for shit man. You wait till the cunt’s not looking; I’m going to pop the charlatan in the microwave, recycle his shell for pith helmet spare parts (in case of ZULU attack!) and then put his ballbags on Amazon’s Marketplace. Paaaahnd of nanas!
As you can see, my googley-eyes is brokener (more broken than broken).
Just in case you didn’t know, Google has a query suggestions feature.
As you type into the search box, Google Suggest guesses what you’re typing and offers suggestions in real time.
I’m working on a site that uses H-Sphere and I needed to find some info. I got as far as Can a when Google Suggest came up with the following 🙂
What’s your favourite suggestion?
Inflation is at an…fuckadoo!
http://www.London Derelicts.com
Found a site which I find strangely compelling, it’s a website dedicated to derelict buildings in (yes you guessed it) London.
It’s not the best designed site I’ve ever seen, in fact it looks like one of Jack’s MS Publisher ‘efforts’; but I like it.
Well I say by Jove, what a day?
I managed to walk into work this morning, only took an hour and 35 minutes (my legs hurt like a motherfucker now!) through the snow. And I have to say it was quite pleasant walking by the park talking to Baldie on my mobile (big up for news updates Al!!)
It was all spiffing until I got to the Duppas hill and then Croydon’s flyover. Truly bizarre seeing a few lost souls walking over it due to a total lack of cars.
Average snowfall in London was 10cm, Wallington just made the news for having 20cm AND neighbouring Coulsdon had 28cm. That’s almost a whole shatterproof ruler!!!!
There’s meant to be more tonight, not sure if my old joints can stand another trek. Not sure….if…’cough’….I…can…go….on!!!!!!
Saying that, it was worth it today, if only to see Croydon resemble a Lowry painting, totally devoid of trams, buses and taxis. All it needed was chimneys and hey presto! Stick men masterpiece!!!!!
Just goes to show though, you can do anything after a cup of tea!
WE HAVE SNOW!!!!!
I heard they had predicted snow on the news this morning but didn’t really expect it to hit with the degree that it has; if you imagine a 6 mile radius around where I live, everywhere outside that boundary normally gets snow but we never do! It’s bizarre!?!?
It was genuinely uncanny that I got back from the office and all of a sudden it just started coming down and hasn’t stopped since (buses have stopped and cars are being abandoned). I couldn’t help myself and had to leave the first prints outside my house! I REALLY wish I had a pair of diving flippers so I could leave obscure footprints in the snow.
Yes I know I’m a big kid…….see, Indians do like the cold!
There was a paratha from Dehli
Who liked to sit and watch tele
His bhaji friend said “yo!”
“you’ve let yourself go!!!”
“And doubled the size of your belly!!!”
Tits from the motherland!!!!!!!!!!!! (and India’s answer to Timmy Mallet?)
Yes, the rumours are true. It was I on Channel 4 tonight, eating the monster ‘olympian’ fry-up breakfast for all to see!!!!
As some of you may know, I was away on business before Christmas visiting a dealership in Cornwall with my boss Alan; what you didn’t know was that we pulled into a ‘Little Chef’ in Popham for some breakfast. Great idea Alan. Cheers! I was fully aware of the video cameras when I walked in, being naive I thought perhaps they were filming some kind of franchise training material; I was wrong.
Instead, Channel 4 were filming ‘Big Chef Takes On Little Chef’, a primetime documentary nonetheless.
Thanks to all those who text and sent messages to say I was on, alas I didn’t see it, Hopefully I can throw it up on the web if I find footage; then all of you can see me devour a breakfast which is essentially the culinary equivalent of a royal slap in the face to starving people in Africa.
The moral of this story is thus, if you walk into a restaurant with film cameras in it, read the teeny, tiny, poxy smeggy little disclaimer before you sit down and look like a total bloater.
As for the breakfast, it was bloody lovely. Especially as it was on expenses. No way I’d have paid a tenner for a breakfast……
More intelligent posting from me!
The Antikrish 
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