I participated in a Car Boot Sale yesterday; car boot sales (or car boots as they are known!) are commonplace in the UK and are often held over the warmer months so that people can sell their unwanted junk in order to acquire new junk.
Car boots are a distant cousin of an American ‘Yard Sale’, the main difference being that a car boot requires the participant to get up at a ridiculous time (usually 6am) and park up in a field or car park along with other sellers; a yard sale epitomises the ‘let the mountain come to Mohammad!’attitude of our American cousins.
So, my good friend David and I decided to pitch up a couple of wallpaper paste boards (ideal for a car boot table) and brave the good people of Warlingham in Surrey.
No sooner had I started to unpack, I was accosted by the ‘plant lady’ who had the pitch next to us. She was clearly a regular and was very aggressive about my table encroaching upon her bit of land. She was the car boot equivalent of Israel and I was clearly Palestine.
In the end I just moved over a bit, didn’t want to make her have a heart attack and be run out of town by a load of pitch fork wielding nutcases!?
Then a snotty nosed teenager looking for electronics started hanging around for first dibs on my gear. I didn’t even get a chance to get everything onto the table, he was even looking in my boot! I inflated my prices to get him to fuck off. Twat.
There are many types of people who come car booting, these are some of my favourites:
Africans with suitcases who haggle for EVERYTHING
You ask for a £1, they will ask for 10p; the amusing thing is that they drag swollen Samsonite cases around to carry their stuff in. Clearly not as poor as they make out! The Africans that I met yesterday should learn some bloody manners I tell you! Extremely obnoxious people!
Pakistanis who try to haggle AND tell you that you won’t get a better deal
One such Pakistani woman offered me £35 for my spare Xbox and cockily came back at the last moment to get a bargain, only for her to be pipped to the winning post by two pikeys who offered me £60. She had a face like a smacked arse when I told her that she had missed out.
Old people who just like to chat
I am a magnet for jolly old people, lovely as they are. Asking me about the weather, whether or not I was enjoying myself. Ah, bless.
Alternative types
Greasers, the overly-tattoed and Twilight addicts come up to my stall, look at my stuff, look at me, make some kind of judgement and leave. Why do they always give me a dirty look? Maybe it was the Dennis Pennis DVD, maybe it was my ‘Blood, Sweat and Tea’ book. Who knows? Who cares? Go and have a fucking wash!
So there you have it, car boot sales are amazing fun as long as you come out making a few quid. I was £85 ‘up’ so that was all well and good. My pitch for the day only cost me £5 (About $8)
I grew up as a sci-fi obsessed kid with the lofty ambition of walking on the Moon; I can always remember being in awe every single time that I saw footage of Neil Armstrong sauntering about on that huge lump of cheese.
The achievement of landing on the Moon still gives me goosebumps now, especially given how incredibly daring the attempt was in the face of the political pressures of the time.
I was very sad to see that Neil Armstrong has passed away today aged 82; I think it is because I considered him a living legend and epitomised the moment that man stopped looking in religious texts for answers and started looking out to the stars.
His legend will live on, certainly challenged by various idiots who thinks that the moon landings were faked! How could anyone possibly think that?!? Fools!
RIP Neil. Owner of the biggest balls in the Universe, thank you for taking that step!
Farrakh Nizzar, 30 years old and from Crumpsall in Greater Manchester, was today jailed for trying to swindle an old woman out of her lottery winnings.
Nizzar told Maureen Holt, 77, that she had won nothing and tried to pocket her £1 million pound prize for himself.
Maureen, enjoy your money love!
Nizzar, enjoy the showers in prison, you unscrupulous dirty bastad!
Mackerel is a beautiful fish to BBQ because it is naturally so oily and hardy over a bed of charcoal.
At just over a £1 a fish, you really can’t get better value?
I kept things simple, took the head and tails off (the more adventurous amongst you will no doubt prefer to keep these on!) and cut a few slits into the fish before I threw together a very basic marinade using:
2-3 tablepspoon of Olive oil
A small amount of melted butter
1/2 a tablespoon of Sea Salt
2 cloves of fnely chopped garlic
a little lemon juice
Whisk all the ingredients above together and rub it into the slits on the fish (oooo errr matron!) and into the belly cavity. Then all you have to do is pop the fish directly onto the grill (don’t use foil for this fish, it’s hardcore and won’t break up!) for about 5-6 minutes each side, making sure the meat turns opaque.
Add a little lemon juice before service to give it a little kick and serve it with salad and crusty bread!
I love cooking a Pork Tenderloin on a BBQ; at £5 a pop, they’re fantastic value for money and are very versatile with regards to adding sauces and spices!
I blogged some time ago about cooking a sage and onion rubbed pork tenderloin; this time I opted to use some more of the Kansas City Cattlemens Classic BBQ sauce and it worked a treat.
One word of advice though, make sure you slit the loin a few times to let the marinade soak into the meat and allow the flames to cook it thoroughly. Tenderloins have a tendency of retaining a lot of juice which can make you underestimate the cooking time that is involved.
The Antikrish 
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