Category Archives: Travelling

En-suite Camping Den – Gullivers Caravan And Camping Club Milton Keynes

The caravan and camping club site at Milton Keynes has a new en-suite camping den; I tried it out a couple of weekends ago!


The en-suite den is different to the other unfurnished glamping dens located on this club site:

Sleeps up to four (two adults and two children).   No pets
Settee converting into a double bed
1 bunk bed with mattresses
Patio furniture
Hand basin



Minimum two night stay.
Security deposit is required


The en-suite den is a fun getaway for two people sharing a weekend together; I think you’d get cabin fever if you spent more than 4 nights here as a couple, let alone a family of four!!!

Although the space is a little tight (if you’re a grizzly bear like me), the sofa bed is very comfortable indeed; I am 6’4″ and I had just the right amount of room to stretch out my legs when laying down.



I didn’t risk the bunk beds because I had visions of plummeting through the top bunk into the bottom one or waking up with claustrophobia; the bunk beds are partially enclosed and look like torpedo tubes on a submarine.  Kids will love them though.

The wash basin is directly under the microwave and you will need to take care not to bang your head when you brush your teeth.  Bit daft that?


My advice would be to take advantage of the en-suite loo, but use the main shower block instead of the shower.


There are various mains supply sockets throughout the den along with mains lighting.

Don’t let my tongue in cheek comments put you off!!

With access to Milton Keynes central , Bletchley and Bicester, the en-suite den is great value for money; after all, it’s not much more per night than a standard pitch cost for a tent with electric hookup.

Below is the standard den if you want to compare.


The standard den is a bit like Arthur Fowler’s allotment shed?

Abinger Hammer Revisited

Abinger Hammer is a lovely town situated on the A25 near Guildford in Surrey; it was my first time back for 30 years.

My godparents often brought me here to sit in the Tilling Bourne river and watch the cricket; the stream divides the village green from the cricket club and this beautiful corner of England is absolutely the reason why I am so fond of the sport.

Abinger Hammer is a time capsule in every way that I remember it.

The village green Post Office still sells fishing nets for the kids to catch sticklebacks, the clockwork blacksmith still hammers on his anvil to ring in the hour; still makes me grin!!!!







Nudist beaches

I quite admire nudists; not quite sure I’ll ever become so enlightened/nonchalant/comfortable about my body that I’ll willingly display my tackle to strangers (apart from the occasional bit of flashing down my local park).

It seems a very natural pursuit doesn’t it?  Nudism?  Whip off your clothes, walk along with your soul mate, let it all hang out and leave the clothed beach goers to question why they are ones who are covered up?

For a moment, in the 30oC heat, I actually considered that I would be more happy in the buff; the nude types happily strolled along the beautiful white sandy beach without a care in the world.

It was just a moment……

For the sake of humanity, I won’t describe what the trademark Fuerteventuran breeze did to 65 year old Bavarian pancake tit nipples!!!

One thing I DID notice, was that the majority of beach nudists were NOT strolling in the surf or skinny dipping as you’d expect; instead, they are doing the most odd things imaginable.

One over-tanned German wrinkly was digging a trench in the sand with a shovel (a garden shovel!!  Not a novelty bucket and spade effort); it almost seemed like he’d dehydrated, drank his own urine and gone stark raving mad, rather than just starkers?

A couple indulged their naked tennis fetish (clearly for naked bit wobbling exhibitionism) whilst another man flew a kite?!?

Then there was the naked rambler who power walked along with his partner; he was outfitted with a backpack and a kind of customised t-shirt on his shoulders but not a stitch elsewhere!  Not sure that will catch on with the execs back in Croydon?

As for nude swimming, the prize for the most amusing specimen went to a particularly butch German woman (I use the term woman very loosely) who was deliriously jumping around in the waves like she’d smoked Crystal meth.

It was like seeing a hairless albino gorilla do a spazzy dance every time ‘her’ skin came into contact with the cold sea water?  Some kind of imaginary water shot putting perhaps?

It’s amazing how quickly you can become comfortable around naked people though?

It probably explained how Hans, Klaus and Fritz were all able to sit together and put the World to rights in deep conversation; clearly not minding that their tanned tadgers were in view the entire time?

Perhaps then, it was only fitting that I arrived to the hotel dining hall upon my return from the beach, to find that today’s regional choice was barbecued German sausage?

Just don’t make eye contact whilst you eat one?   It’s the wurst thing you can do!!!

Westcord Fashion Hotel Amsterdam

I was fortunate to stay at the Westcord Fashion Hotel on Monday; my job took me overseas to Amsterdam and I was very thankful to enjoy everything the hotel had to offer after a snowy commute to the Netherlands.

The hotel is situated within the A10 ring road of Amsterdam; I found it perfectly placed in Leidseplein which is a 10 minute tram ride from the city centre and the same distance to Schiphol Airport or Amsterdam RAI

The arty hotel decor wouldn’t look out of place on an episode of ‘Eurotrash’; especially the toilet doors by the Bar which require you to push a bum/back sculpture on the door,  rather than a handle!

I really liked my room,  big comfy bed,  en suite bathroom with a sliding glass door along with the biggest bath I’ve been in for some time; overall the rooms are excellent value with great facilities,  gadgets and free WIFI Internet.

The bar food was reasonably priced and value for money,  the breakfast buffet was excellent.

Sadly, I didn’t get a chance to visit the Wellness Garden and its two sauna’s, Turkish steam room, indoor swimming pool.  The pool looked great!

I’d recommend the hotel for a romantic break more than a business trip; purely because the bath is definitely made for two!

Regardless. A very enjoyable stay!






Amsterdam.   The culture shock that failed to arrive.

There’s more weed and titty bars in Croydon than there are here???

I walked around for two and a half hours last night and came to the following conclusions:

(*)  Dutch people are extremely nice but have a bloody silly language.

(*) There are SO many bikes here,  but the Dutch won fuck all in the Olympics for cycling?

(*)  The narrow houses by the canals are beautiful, but you’d have to be deformed or brought up drinking agent orange to fit in one.   Bugger all chance I’d even get through the front door!

(*) I still don’t like the smell of puff.

(*) The trams are very similar to Croydon, just minus the menacing little spastics who sit playing their shitty grime tunes on a CEX bargain phone.

Amsterdam,  a city with a distinct charm; a bit like Sir Jimmy Saville.

Trip to the States October 2011 – Video Summary

Here’s a video summary of our trip to the USA! For quick viewing 🙂


Sundance 1 – Beautiful river up in Sundance, Utah.


Sundance 2 – Peaceful rock pool in Sundance, Utah.



Sundance 3 – The Mountains before entry to Sundance, Utah.


Bridal Veil Falls – The incredibly beautiful waterfall in Utah.


McDonalds – Shaking hands with the Pope.
Where I was when I found out Colonel Gaddafi had been shot dead!


Vegas Skyline – Daytime.


Palazzo Hotel – Reception and main entrance.


Palazzo Hotel – Our Room.




Las Vegas Strip – 1.


Las Vegas Strip – 2.


Palazzo Hotel – Outside.


The Venetian Hotel.


Palazzo Hotel Casino – Kev’s Big Win!


Palazzo Hotel Casino – Lorraine’s Big Win!


Manhattan Beach – Sitting with Rainy, knackered.


Manhattan Beach – Pier complete with Silent Hill style fog.


Me in a hot tub, Manhattan Beach.


Rainy in the hot tub, Manhattan Beach.


Lorraine on Rodeo Drive.


Lorraine and the Hollywood Sign.


Burger King’s Texan Whopper.

Palazzo Casino – Antikrish versus the Machines – 20/10/2011

I promised my Dad 7 years ago that I’d go to Las Vegas and try my luck in the casino’s. SHOW ME THE MONEY!

I remember making a conscious decision to re-evaluated my betting reserve and eventually decided to spend no more than $200 (I originally budgeted for about $600).  As I explained in an earlier post, I didn’t feel ‘lucky’; so I reduced my betting budget accordingly and avoided the card and roulette tables completely.  I reasoned that I’d come back one day in the future and see how I felt then!  Not bad logic for a guy who had drunk an offensive amount of tequila eh?

My favourite slot machine was the ‘Wheel of Fortune’ themed slots, I won about $400-$500 dollars on 4 machines (they are usually grouped in 4’s).  I was pretty wasted from drinking the Margarita’s and not having eaten too much (wasn’t a huge fan of the buffet we went to); however, playing slot machines is pretty instinctive even when I’m inebriated due to the amount of time I spent in Selsey’s seaside arcades. So on I went.

I had a generous win of just over $300 dollars on the ‘Wheel of Fortune machine’ (see video below), the Old Man was definitely with me that night; it’s a shame I didn’t have a 5 at the end of the 3 and 4 (on the reels) as that would have won the house prize; approximately $350,000 dollars.

Lorraine had stopped gambling by that point (after a good flutter on the ‘Sex and the City’ machines) as I think she was watching her cash with view to more shopping and was a bit puzzled by how the machines worked.  So I gave her $20 of my winnings and went onto the ‘Monopoly’ themed machines for her; winning her $98.10 which paid for the pukka ‘Guess’ handbag she had seen at the outlet mall only earlier upon our arrival to Las Vegas.

My last run of luck was winning a couple of hundred dollars on the ‘Star Wars’ machine; I would love to have one in my house, it had some fantastic features and bonuses, plus video and sounds from the films. Artoo Deetoo was my bitch.

So I came away well ‘up’ on the night in terms of my winnings; I had also fulfilled my promise to dear Daddy who had seen me right with my luck.

Thank you Daddy!

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VIDEO 1 – The BIG win!

VIDEO 2 – Lorraine’s Win

VIDEO 3 – Star Wars win 1

VIDEO 4 – Star Wars win 2

End of a journey – homeward bound 25th of October, 2011

So that was our lot.  Amy drove us home via Henderson (Nevada), and we stayed in a Premier Travel Inn Lodge type of hotel on the Saturday night before we headed back home on Sunday.  Amy and Lorraine would not stop giving me crap if I didn’t mention how I dropped a huge jar of salsa onto the hotel reception floor, before throwing a bit of a strop when I thought I was the centre of attention (RAGE!).

Driving back on the Saturday night was a real slog, especially for Amy; we had briefly stopped in the middle of the desert so that Amy could wake up a bit with some fresh air.

The sky was absolutely stunning out in the desert; the total lack of unatural light meant for the best view of the stars that I’d seen since I visited the Breacon Beacon’s in Wales as a kid;  It was beautiful looking up there and seeing thousands of starts, I felt very humble and quite insignificant!

On Sunday we got home at a reasonable time and did our washing, packing and chilled out together which was really nice.  Lorraine and I were very thankful to have been able to visit and go on such a trip.  My final gallery is a few obscure pics!

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Hollywood – Saturday, 22nd of October, 2011

So we had about an hour to hit Hollywood, and frankly that was all that I needed as I wasn’t that impressed to be honest!

I enjoyed journeying up to get a cheesy photo opportunity with the Hollywood sign and finding a really cool t-shirt shop and getting a Lynyrd Skynrd shirt; but for the most part Hollywood was…..empty?

It’s difficult to explain as there’s so much going on there, but little substance?  Lots of movie posters struted their stuff around the busy streets, yet I never really saw anything that made me think ‘Wow, I’d like to come back here’.  Perhaps I am not doing Hollywood justice, but that’s just my thoughts.

Hollywood is definitely best kept on the big screen, for me at least!

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Rodeo Drive – Saturday, October the 22nd, 2011

Our trip to Rodeo Drive was fun, if only to see Lorraine’s face as she sauntered around pretending to be Julia Roberts in the film ‘Pretty Woman’; this was largely lost on me because I’ve never seen the film!

It was an interesting place, you could eat your dinner off the sidewalk because the area was so incredibly clean and almost devoid of people; probably because of the thinly veiled classism that confronted us when we walked into Tiffany’s.  Deja vu!  Just like being back in NYC!

They quickly changed their tune when they realised that Lorraine meant business and bought a few trinkets before dancing out of the store.  An obligatory shot of Rainy in front of Tiffany’s and hey presto, a happy lady!

Lorraine also popped into ‘Jimmy Choo’ to try on a $600 pair of shoes, I wonder if the same Indian kids make Jimmy Choo’s as Primark shoes?  Answers on a postcard folks?

It was certainly an experience for Rainy, she posed outside the Regent Beverley Wilshire Hotel before dashing to the waiting car so that we could zip off to Hollywood!  How glam?

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