Category Archives: Editorials

Car Boot Sale – Warlingham, Surrey

I participated in a Car Boot Sale yesterday; car boot sales (or car boots as they are known!) are commonplace in the UK and are often held over the warmer months so that people can sell their unwanted junk in order to acquire new junk.

Car boots are a distant cousin of an American ‘Yard Sale’, the main difference being that a car boot requires the participant to get up at a ridiculous time (usually 6am) and park up in a field or car park along with other sellers; a yard sale epitomises the ‘let the mountain come to Mohammad!’attitude of our American cousins.

So, my good friend David and I decided to pitch up a couple of wallpaper paste boards (ideal for a car boot table) and brave the good people of Warlingham in Surrey.

No sooner had I started to unpack, I was accosted by the ‘plant lady’ who had the pitch next to us.  She was clearly a regular and was very aggressive about my table encroaching upon her bit of land.  She was the car boot equivalent of Israel and I was clearly Palestine.

In the end I just moved over a bit, didn’t want to make her have a heart attack and be run out of town by a load of pitch fork wielding nutcases!?

Then a snotty nosed teenager looking for electronics started hanging around for first dibs on my gear.  I didn’t even get a chance to get everything onto the table, he was even looking in my boot!  I inflated my prices to get him to fuck off.  Twat.

There are many types of people who come car booting, these are some of my favourites:

Africans with suitcases who haggle for EVERYTHING
You ask for a £1, they will ask for 10p; the amusing thing is that they drag swollen Samsonite cases around to carry their stuff in.  Clearly not as poor as they make out!  The Africans that I met yesterday should learn some bloody manners I tell you!  Extremely obnoxious people!

Pakistanis who try to haggle AND tell you that you won’t get a better deal
One such Pakistani woman offered me £35 for my spare Xbox and cockily came back at the last moment to get a bargain, only for her to be pipped to the winning post by two pikeys who offered me £60.  She had a face like a smacked arse when I told her that she had missed out.

Old people who just like to chat
I am a magnet for jolly old people, lovely as they are.  Asking me about the weather, whether or not I was enjoying myself.  Ah, bless.

Alternative types
Greasers, the overly-tattoed and Twilight addicts come up to my stall, look at my stuff, look at me, make some kind of judgement and leave.  Why do they always give me a dirty look?  Maybe it was the Dennis Pennis DVD, maybe it was my ‘Blood, Sweat and Tea’ book.  Who knows?  Who cares?  Go and have a fucking wash!

So there you have it, car boot sales are amazing fun as long as you come out making a few quid.  I was £85 ‘up’ so that was all well and good.  My pitch for the day only cost me £5 (About $8)

Here’s a video of Dave in action!  Go on my son!

Here’s a gallery of some ‘interesting’ people.

Neil Armstrong – RIP

I grew up as a sci-fi obsessed kid with the lofty ambition of walking on the Moon; I can always remember being in awe every single time that I saw footage of Neil Armstrong sauntering about on that huge lump of cheese.

The achievement of landing on the Moon still gives me goosebumps now, especially given how incredibly daring the attempt was in the face of the political pressures of the time.

I was very sad to see that Neil Armstrong has passed away today aged 82; I think it is because I considered him a living legend and epitomised the moment that man stopped looking in religious texts for answers and started looking out to the stars.

His legend will live on, certainly challenged by various idiots who thinks that the moon landings were faked!  How could anyone possibly think that?!?  Fools!

RIP Neil.  Owner of the biggest balls in the Universe, thank you for taking that step!

Shop worker jailed for lottery fraud.

Farrakh Nizzar, 30 years old and from Crumpsall in Greater Manchester, was today jailed for trying to swindle an old woman out of her lottery winnings.

Nizzar told Maureen Holt, 77, that she had won nothing and tried to pocket her £1 million pound prize for himself.

Maureen, enjoy your money love!

Nizzar, enjoy the showers in prison, you unscrupulous dirty bastad!

Sid – Cheerio!!

Looks like Sid has finally moved on from his Croydon penthouse pad.  This time for good.

Ray spoke to the filming types (he is a nosey old bastard?) who returned to film again this week and they confirmed that he has indeed buggered off.

It is a shame that he has gone, his unoccupied shelter remains and reminds me of all the times when I have been transfixed by his intriguing routines and survival instincts.

It remains to be seen if an eagle-eyed opportunist will spot and claim George Street’s hottest property.

Take care Sid, you have been Croydon’s Robinson Crusoe living rough outside my office since April 2011 and I salute you for enduring.

Cheerio!

Selfish behaviour

I am fucked off.  Haven’t been this keyed up in a long, long time; it will take all my inner resolve to keep my mouth shut.

I am annoyed at how inherently selfish people can be sometimes, feathering their own nests without considering the rammifications and knock-on effect they will have on others.

It is even more insulting when people lie or make paltry excuses or empty gestures to achieve their personal goal.

I am not perfect, not by any stretch of the imagination, but I genuinely always try to consider the results of my actions and help others where I can.

The ‘take take take’ culture is becoming more prominent in British society,  however I am both surprised and sad to see such an inconsiderate attitude come from someone that I had an awful lot of respect for, but that respect is beginning to wane and my patience is growing thin.

Time to consider my own options I think.

Emirates Air Line Cable Car – Royal Victoria Dock to North Greenwich

I had been itching to go on the Emirates Air Line ever since I read about it on the BBC news, I stumbled upon an article detailing the cable car ride across the Thames by chance only a couple of weeks before we were due to go to the boxing.

The cable car system goes across the river from Royal Victoria Dock to the Greenwich Peninsula and showcases several London landmarks along the way, for example: the O2 Arena (formerly the Millenium Dome), the Thames Barrier (one of my favourites!) and the Excel Arena.

It’s a fantastic place to have put the ride because of how varied the architecture is in the area; during the 5 minute journey you get to take in the industrial vibe of old to the fantastic view you get of Canary Wharf’s modern skyscrapers.  I imagine it would be pretty cool to go on it late at night!

Again, the organisation from TFL staff and London 2012 Volunteers was spot on during the booking process which made the whole thing very easy; Oyster Card and Travel Card users also get a discount which results in a £3.20 single fare or £6.40 round trip (gotta love that Americanism folks).

I would genuinely recommend the experience as it shows you a very different side of London from the usual sights of Buckingham Palace and Westminster Abbey, splendid as they are!

Mum’s Garden

Summer is in full swing, well, until next week when the weather is meant to get crap again!

Thought I’d put up a little gallery of Mum’s garden; so many of the flowers are in bloom and the climbers are really starting to get a hold on the trellises that are dotted around the place.

Paul, my Sisters fella, has done a grand job with the decking and all the woodwork that he has done; I have done my part, having potted and bedded a good deal of the plants and climbers you can see in the gallery below.  Replanting the hydrangeas took some doing let me tell you!

Forgot how much I loved to garden, I often helped my Nan when I was a kid (she was a gardening genius) and would often do the same with Mum (clearly followed in her footsteps).  It is a simple pleasure?

We still have to move bits around and I also have to assemble and position my KILLER PIT BBQ!  But for now, here you go.

Sid – Enduring

The filming crew has gone and I am happy to report that Sid is back in his shack.

All in all, no harm done and the film types cleared up all the rubbish around Sid’s place; it clearly needs a womans touch or a man with cleaning OCD’s.

Not that I know such a man. Ahem.