Category Archives: Editorials

European elections

Those who know me will no doubt be aware of my general dislike of the B.N.P. (British National Party); they have succeeded in winning two European parliamentary seats in this weeks elections.

This isn’t a shock, to me at least; the government and political system of the U.K. is generally unfit for purpose and right wing scabs capitalize on people’s fears. I genuinely hope that the BNP’s increase in popularity is more down to the miguised protest of Harold Smith (average Joe) against the system, rather than actually believing any of the thinly veiled bile they pass off as policies?  The papers claim the BNP’s votes are down compared to 2004, however I’ve certainly heard more than a few sympathisers around my local area.

It’s also no surprise that the victories were in Yorkshire either, having been to Bradford (aptly called Bradistan due to the vast Muslim population) I can vouch how divided and segregated this part of the UK is; especially compared to the Hindu population of Leicester.  I found Bradford quite intimidating initially until I persisted a bit more with making acquaintences!  Saying that, women’s lib has hardly made it to Yorkshire yet, so I imagine it’ll be a few more years before anyone other than Mr Whitey-White-White, Pure English blood for 20 generations considers sharing a lift with anyone remotely foreign.

Change is needed in this country, desperately, but facism and nationalism should not be bedfellows; I just hope Primark doesn’t start selling brown shirts in bulk or Croydon may yet resemble Nuremberg in 1927.

Out the racist scum!

BBC – Earth News

The BBC news website has recently launched – Earth News which I thought I’d post a quick link about.

I read the science and nature pages on the BBC each day when browsing the site, and thought it was fantastic the BBC had beefed this up by launching the Earth News section which has some brilliant iplayer stuff on it and funky photos.

Now, if only they’d put on all of Sir David Attenboroughs back catalogue on it I’d be very happy; why isn’t it free on the site already eh, eh, EH!?!?!

Bulletproof Turbans!?!?

It was with great mirth that I stumbled upon a BBC news story regarding  a request by the British Sikh Police Association (or turbanators for short) to research into developing bulletproof turbans to be introduced so that they can break into areas of the force that require them to wear a protective helmet; something that their religion forbids.

Bulletproof turbans.  AH HA HA HA HA HA!  How funny is that?  Seriously?!?!  At first I thought it was an April Fools prank, a headline worthy of a Spike Milligan sketch; but no, this is a legit story (link at bottom of thread).

I do empathise with anyone whose religion gets in the way of their safety; like catholics who are told not to wear condoms by the pope for example.  “God will save you from your nob dropping off my children!”.  Why would you possibly enter into a vocation where you know that your career path would be limited due to cultural or religious beliefs?  It’d be like a Jewish man going to work in an abattoir and refusing to work on the sausage production line?  That’s where all the money is, have you seen how much Sainsbury’s charges for it’s posh red wine and goats cheese sausies these days?  They’ll probably put a “Yid Free – Taste the Difference” label on them to pop the price up another 50p.

What troubled me even more was that West Midlands Police spent £100,000 on trying to adapt safety helmets to fit over turbans last year.  £100,000!!!!  It’s amazing would you could achieve with 1 child potty and some masking tape.   Lordy lordy.

I think it would be FAR more affective to have a rapid response squad of traditional Sikh warriors turn up at a serious crime scene sporting their turbans, sabres, knives between their teeth and trained monkeys!!!  Hardened criminals would think twice wouldn’t they???  Yep, that’s the solution.  Definately.

Anyway, here’s the story.  CLICK HERE FOR STORY

doublehardbastards

Back on the road

Howdy folks.  Hope you’re all doing well and all that old chestnut!!

Today was my first day back on the bike following my accident back on Easter Sunday; debris from a previous accident left on the road caused my bike to slip out and into the oncoming lane.  I had to volantarily crash the bike to the left to stop going through the windscreen of an oncoming VW Passat, and it almost worked too!!!  That was until the driver clipped the front of the bike which resulted in me being catapulted down the road at speed on my back.  Thankfully I was wearing my leather jacket, or I could have been bad to the bone, literally.

I’ve spent the last 2 weeks or so rather sombrely, my knee was pretty swollen and grazed up (it’s still slightly swollen now) and I cracked my upper rib which made breathing/laughing/sneezing rather painful.  Add to that my left shoulder blade hurt like a bastard everytime I moved, well you get the picture.  I can’t ever remember being so fearful of pollen just in case I might sneeze!   I do count myself rather lucky to have sustained only the minor injuries that I walked away with.  Yet I immediately felt pretty angry that the roads are in such a disgraceful condition given that we all pay our dues and blah blah woof woof.  Gordon Brown you swine!

Thanks to Kent Countil (my bike was hit in Westerham village on the A25) my bike took a fair bit of damage, the radiator bent back in an amusing shape, the bodywork and lamp units practically exploded along with my windscreen.  So I’ve been fixing all that up with the help of my mate Alan who popped over a couple of times last week to straighten out my front forks and steering, and the ever trusty Ray who has been on emergency 24/7 callout.  Had it not been for these two chaps I’d still be around the garage scratching my head with a spanner, looking at a schematic and wondering how the doobrey goes to the thimgamay.

I managed to source most of my parts through the official Aprilia dealership ‘Inmoto’ which is near where Baldie lives, I’d heartily recommend them; especially because I managed to blag a trade discount out of them for all my stuff.  Hyuk hyuk, how Joe Daki am I?!?  The rest of my bits, well, I bought them second hand off of e bay and they were tarted up by Ray “I can do anything with a wet rag and spraycan” Bush.  See piccies below, the man is a genius.

Big thanks to all my wellwishers, and of course many, many thanks to both Alan and Ray for getting me back on the road. Brrrrrm Brrrrmm Brrrrrrm. Still don’t know what to do with my fluffy dice though?  Anyone got any suggestions?

Arrogance and it’s borders

I had a very brief conversation today with a friend of mine and I thought I’d take this opportunity to blow my own trumpet regarding a reasonably witty reply I came up with off the cuff. Well, you’ve got to sometimes haven’t you?

Friend – “Confidence is an attractive quality, arrogance is not”.
Kev – “I personally live by the moto ‘be damned for what you are, and anyone who doesn’t like it can go grow their own tomatoes’.”
Friend – “Wouldn’t you say that borders on arrogance?”
Kev – “I wouldn’t know, I was never any good at geography”.

Ahem……

tumbleweed

Kev’s trip to NYC

Hmmmmmm, I still feel too lathargic to write about my trip to NYC…..Oh, OK. I’ll do it. Blimey. Suffice to say that it was good, the weather was reasonably pleasant (aside from mid afternoon/evening fog, which is why we didn’t go up the Empire State or go on the Statue of Liberty tour) and I was genuinely shocked by how incredibly warm and friendly New Yorkers were! I feel slightly ashamed that I had created a stereotype over the years that the average New Yorker was rather brash and rude compared to the Midwestern Americans that I am more familiar with. I was wrong, and for that I apologise New Yorkers.

From the extremely polite and friendly ‘foreign’ cab drivers, to the Manchester United fan I found who owned a hot dog stand on Columbus Avenue (said chap gave me the biggest hug and had my pic taken with him when I told him I was a supporter); I can honestly say that I was genuinely humbled by the warm reception my sister and I got whilst visiting such a funky city. I use the term ‘foreign’ in very loose terms because I find it rather ironic that Americans can consider anyone else immigrants? But I digress.

My favourite place? Would definately have to be central park; I could only describe it as a veritable oasis within the maestrom of madness which makes up midtown Manhattan. Central Park was my only real ‘to-do’ list choice whilst I guided Lorraine around her shopping expedition, I really wanted to find the John Lennon Strawberry Fields memorial within the park in order to reflect upon a man whose life greatly inspired my own. So that was my first order of business on our first day there. The New York City ‘grid’ system is so easy to follow, and we quickly found the memorial site; Strawberry Fields is just a little area within the park with benches all centered around an ‘Imagine’ floor mosaic. I sat there for a sometime and enjoyed the surroundings, and I can only describe it as utterly serene place to go. Spookily so.

The park itself is bustling with joggers (clearly people who regularly exercise), TONS of very well trained dogs and their owners who apparently go to eventually congregate in a corner of the park which offers obedience lessons on a Saturday morning. Central Park also has the most incredible varied wild collection of birds I think I’ve ever seen within a city; their collective singing and chirping totally drowned out everything outside the green boundaries.

The hotel we stayed at was funky too. I was lucky enough to get a good deal through Expedia and stayed at the Hilton on 6th Avenue, it’s situated right next to the park and is ideal if anyone wants to experience a slightly alternative journey through the park it into the outskirts of Harlem like we did; I will definately be spending more time there during my next visit for sure. Harlem had such character with it’s old town architecture. The smell of soul food tempted me but alas we didn’t have time, Harlem definately had such a vibe about it though!

After a visit to the UGG store on Columbus Ave we refuelled at a Deli nearby (you HAVE to visit a deli and experience a turkey and bacon club sandwich!) and after that, eventually toodled up to 150W 54th street which is where you can visit Macy’s; the biggest store in the world (A whole city block and 9 floors!!!!) We went back 3 times because it had so many bargains. I also bought my bike jacket across the street so I’d definately recommend any visitor to NYC to pop in for a mooch. Top tip for tourists visiting Macy’s, pop upstairs for an 11% off coupon!

Keeping with the inner city theme we also popped to Times Square which was phenomenal. Bright lights, lots of noise and how could I forget the exceptionally offensive ‘M&M world’ stuffed in the corner. It is all perhaps too much visual and audio stimulation for one person; but it’s an experience I don’t think you should pass up if you want to see capitalism personfied. I thought it particularly intriguing that the HUGE Virgin Megastore on Times Square closed down for good on the day that we visited, it was really bizarre to see it all gutted out with even the shop fixings up for sale to the highest bidder.

It was with sadness that we checked out of the Hilton on Sunday to get a ride to the Holiday Inn over by Newark airport. The Hilton had such a gorgeous room but I decided it would be best to do this so as to avoid the 60 minute journey before our flight if had instead stayed downtown in Manhattan and gone to the airport from there instead. I didn’t want to take the chance with the city traffic, and when I say traffic, I fucking mean it. It’s HEAVY. That Sunday night a powerful storm swept America and lots of airlines suffered cancellations, we did make it home just fine the following day; however I am not sure how the journey would have been had we not stayed close to the aiport. It was meant to be!

So NYC gets a huge thumbs up from me. Obviously anyone in the UK should ideally wait for a better exchange rate before going over, once you do you’ll be spoilt for things to do and bargains to be had!!!!!

Ghandi

The auction sale of Ghandi’s personal effects for $1.8m smacked of such fantastic irony that I simply had to say something on it.

If you could define that irony, I imagine it’d be something similar to a woman who secretly desired to be a glamour model, but her prize pair of knockers were on her back instead of her chest. Sexy hunchback?

I have a great admiration for some of Ghandi’s views and how he lived his life; and considering how he generally shunned materialism, I couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of dozens of portly Indian businessmen fighting over a pair of fishbowl lens glasses and knackered old leather sandels?

Please don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the symbolism that the glasses carry, in that Ghandi suggested they gave him the inspiration to liberate India, but if by some freak of luck Alex and I became deified ‘Bill and Ted’ style, would the glasses we wore when writing “I don’t want no messy sex with you Momma’ become feverishly sought after relics?

Who can say?!? One thing is for sure, whoever spent a million quid buying a pair of knackered old glasses should have gone to Spaccasavers.